Was just playing Skyrim and a dragon landed a good distance away. I went toward it, but it died before I got there and a fucking cow walked away from the corpse. A cow just killed a dragon.

Twitter, bomber, death threats 

oh look the bomber guy had been reported to Twitter for death threats and they did nothing

If this were 2014 I'd, very genuinely, toot something along the lines of "yeah I sent something explosive to Obama, my mf mixtape! " and I don't think I'd be alone. Thankfully, we have all grown immensely as people.

the news is so fun I love current events and I'm not drinking heavily today at all

Politics, murder 

made the mistake of hearing more details on the Khashoggi torture-murder. what the fuck, y'all. what the fuck.

I was just glumly thinking about how Halloween is usually my favorite, but I'm depressed so this year I really don't care, and then two neurons connected and I realized I can write "I really don't care" on an old ratty green jacket I already own and be Melania. Done. So easy.

this is how I'll die someday, but in the meantime, I am the reigning champion of the game of chicken

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message to semi driver who
just threatened to run me off the road because he got mad I went the speed limit: do it, bitcj. i don't give a fuck. yeah, that's what i fuckin thought.

this must be what mourning veils were for. You can just sit around all day with a miserable look on your face and no one can tell.

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I mean the grief is getting better, I'm through the worst of it and I'm gonna be okay. but fuck, man, pretending to be happy at work is exhausting

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PEOPLE AT WORK: Hey, how are you?

REAL ANSWER: well I had to put my cat down last week and I'm still really devastated and it feels like part of me has died and I'll never be whole again

RIGHT ANSWER: Great, how are you?

a black vulture, as seen from the window of the probably-haunted former orphanage I work in. getting spoopy around here.

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.