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Instead of fat I'm going to start referring to myself as "party sized"

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God and good are remarkably similar words while meaning the total opposite of each other

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Are we all in agreement that Lil Nas X Old Town Road is a joke song about country music? It's exactly what I would sing if I was mocking country music hillbillies.

The fact that country music people have embraced it despite what's obvious is mind blowing and then I'm like...oh yeah that's why you idiots vote Republican against your own interests

I didn't create this but it's making me laugh really hard so I thought I'd share

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I am the landlord of my life, the CEO of my destiny, the cop of my bathroom.

There are some people who are so hot that you're just like yes, yes I would ruin my entire life just for the chance to rest my head on their ass

My commitment to not being hornt is being seriously tested by tiljar posting pics

Look I'm not weird for wanting to be her footrest, she's a beautiful Queen and it's a honor to serve her

I'm on a mo' carbs diet. That's where you eat carbs and then you eat mo' carbs

I hate the term "side hustle" but I guess its more convenience then saying "the capitalist pig billionaires need more money so they won't pay you a decent wage instead you need to get a second job"

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Full version of the drawing posted last night. Pen and paper sketch with digital shading by yokofakun on Instagram, drawn from one of my photos. πŸ™πŸ»β€

I feel so pretty (nude photograph and drawing)
#art #drawing

Most of my the "life hacks" on snapchat are just kids describing how to use products for their intended purposes.

I think I'll be getting high again tonight and I'm going to create an epic thread listing out the names of the characters from American Dad who could get it

Last night, high out of my mind, I watched Beyonce's Homecoming. My wife told me that I sat there silently except when Beyonce's ass would come on screen then I would exclaim, DAMN!

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.