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Pinned toot

Oh, you think my opinion is bad? Name its top five albums

Your name is GREGOR SAMSA.
You work as a SALESMAN to provide for your very own FAMILY, and today, you woke up as a HUGE INSECT.
You are, as people used to say, STUCK to your BED and someone is vigorously knocking on the DOOR.
What will you do?

out: pyramid schemes
in: conespiracies

And you know what they call a foot fetish in Paris?

They don't call it a foot fetish?

No, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what the fuck a foot is.

What'd they call it?

They call it a 30 cm fetish

(at the Dentists office waiting room)
me: Bernie.. Bernie..
other patients: Bernie! Bernie!
receptionist, pounding clipboard: BERNIE! BERNIE!

Elizabeth Warren chuckled. "You mean the Chaos Delegates?”

Movie idea: Jumanji, but without all those pesky animals!

Selfie, EC 

Borders are a weapon and immigration control is violence

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.