Trap Beat Spider @Hightithe@jorts.horse

Your name is GREGOR SAMSA.
You work as a SALESMAN to provide for your very own FAMILY, and today, you woke up as a HUGE INSECT.
You are, as people used to say, STUCK to your BED and someone is vigorously knocking on the DOOR.
What will you do?

@requrious @realtoddhoward oh yea, I was born for the floor, baby

out: pyramid schemes
in: conespiracies

[VINCENT]
And you know what they call a foot fetish in Paris?

[JULES]
They don't call it a foot fetish?

[VINCENT]
No, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what the fuck a foot is.

[JULES]
What'd they call it?

[VINCENT]
They call it a 30 cm fetish

(at the Dentists office waiting room)
me: Bernie.. Bernie..
other patients: Bernie! Bernie!
receptionist, pounding clipboard: BERNIE! BERNIE!

Elizabeth Warren chuckled. "You mean the Chaos Delegates?”

Cool moss I saw on a hike

please view this grookey coin 💚

Movie idea: Jumanji, but without all those pesky animals!

this moody shit is pretty cool. oakland is not known to be foggy

the federated timeline

more like sonic the wet hog

I'm sorry bb but I had a weird morning and then I was setting up my bed and then the maintenance man came and it was too much so your makeup video got postponed till the weekend. Here's a consolation selfie 💛💛💛

Borders are a weapon and immigration control is violence