I don’t appreciate the Mystics’ extra hands but that’s on me.

I dropped a coke can and immediately kicked it into the wall and I don’t feel good about any of that.

i just typed "i" and then picked all of my phone's suggestions and its truly hilarious because i swear i have never texted ANYONE like this 

Georgia O’Keeffe inspired selfies 

selfie, ec 

going to sleep now, but providing more roast material before I do/selfie

I’m watching Ralph wrecks the internet. It was not my choice. But I can’t wait for him to do it

I’m thinking of making myself surprise cute for my partner but am I too tired?

@nuttgodd look how much he's grown (CW dog eye contact but he looks like a teddy bear)

I watched an hour and a half of youtube videos about a pair of dogs. I’m invincible. Everything is nice now.

I’m watching a 1969 Japanese horror movie that’s a little on the porn side and it feels so on brand

Do people have their Halloween costumes figured out already?

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.