Pinned toot

i need help

they just closed the schools here till april 13th and our daughter gets two of her meals every day thru school programs because we don't have money and now we don't even get food stamps (snaps)

this is now triple the burden of our already pathetic food budget to feed our little girl properly and the wife and i were already skipping meals

please help
please boost$luxotek

Pinned toot

i have a reasonable expectation that, even though my posts are marked public to other mastodon users that have chosen to be federated with, that my posts and media are not going to leave mastodon or be indexed or made available externally from mastodon without my express written consent

participation in federation does not imply opt-in to being included in any scraping, research, or any other means of making my posts searchable or available to any institution outside of mastodon

can't wait to be asked extremely snidely by my creditors in a month

well what'd you do with your stimulus check? waste it on frivolous shit I bet?

no fuck face.. I bought 3 bags of groceries and 2 rolls of toilet paper cause dipshits like you drove the prices up by hoarding shit like scared litlle brain damaged rabbits

no joke.. 97 dollars got us three bags of groceries.. 3.. no fruits or veggies, no toilet paper or tissues.. just boxed produkt I'm not supposed to be eating cause I'm diabetic

March has been the longest decade in all my 45 years on this planet

can't believe I might turn 65 next month

5 years and it took a pandemic for the HOA here to finally send a complaint letter and 1000$ fine for having my Halloween window clings up still

so past not having rent money or snaps and the power company stealing my energy assistance money I now have a 1000 dollar fine on top of everything else

how does this shit keep happening to me
like holy shit how fucking cursed am I

Luxotek boosted

it's fucking exhausting waiting for death

Luxotek boosted

There has been too much violence,
too much pain.
None here are without sin.
But I have an honorable compromise.

Just walk away.

Give me the purell...
the lysol...
the toilet paper...
and the whole 12 pack,
and I'll spare your lives.

Just walk away. I will give you
safe passage in the wasteland.

Just walk away
and there will be an end to the horror.

Luxotek boosted

day ??? of quarantine

wondering if I have enough stuff around the house to build a big enough railgun to shoot my Xmas tree into space

kinda want to open a store in boys town in Chicago that just sells jeans and leather and call it

build a bear

worth the lawsuit

Luxotek boosted
Luxotek boosted
Luxotek boosted
Luxotek boosted

@Quixote171 dudes doing a poor job being coyly handsy: the hardest hit demographic in this pandemic

Luxotek boosted

half the time I see bill hader tv spots I fucking trip out cause I don't realize it's one of the deep fakes they did of his impressions and holy shit the transitions are fucking seamless and I end up looking to see if I got out my wax pen and forgot

Luxotek boosted
Luxotek boosted
Luxotek boosted
Luxotek boosted
Show more

Unstoppable shitposting engine.