Pinned toot

*loud machine noises outside*
me: you hear that
wife: yeah what is that
*noise gets grindy and louder
me slightly excited: that's... that's a wood chipper!
wife: oh.. oh fuck.. no you stay put
me: brb. I gotta go take run at a man

whats worse is our favorite chinese place didn't survive the pandemic

9 years of devotion to find their best items just down the fucking drain

just ruins everything losing the ability to do a 'fuck it - lets get chinese' either removing some sting or adding a cherry

eat a dick on a stick covid

the dog came home with coffee breathe again
I didn't know how to prove it but I'm convinced he's been moonlighting as a hostage negotiator when I'm not looking

reality tv show idea:

Cthulhu joins a dating app and attempts to navigate the modern dating scene to find an appropriate human to drive mad for eternity or eldritch horror to consume the universe by its side. hilarity ensues via a comedy of errors and poor social graces.

there was a sale on little league bats and now I have a 500$ a day lemonade stand

Everytime I can't find my phone and forget my shit post before I find it, an angel gets it's wings

great fucking design.. 3 fucking places to adjust mouse pointer speed and tbh I can't tell which if any do shit...

only thing that makes a difference is the useless picks of dpi from the pain in the ass button they put on the bottom ..

my biggest gripe with win11 so far - and it was one with win10 to a lesser extent - is onboard audio drivers/bus support for my board is sooo bad that it makes videos skip and pause doing other shit on my computer

i have a spare pci-e x-fi around here somewhere but i'm not sure i want to bother - creatives drivers usually are trash and i lose case plugs and all kinds of shit iirc

Finally have my headphones paired to something that their touch controls are actually handy on...

did I miss when we turn our glocks back?

Luxotek boosted


the queen dies after the live aid concert


the queen dies after the live aid concert

2022 is the year we get tropical rain in the desert so heavy that piranha learn to swim in it and we end up with air piranha.. flying desert pirahna.. flying desert acid rain pirahna..

they called the ewoks savages but in the whole god damned skywalker family feud - they were the only motherfucker with handrails...
not a single handrail fucking anywhere in 9 movies but the savage ewoks are the only ones with osha

anyone else having a problem with Plex either randomly turning off CC completely or swapping to the wrong one lately?

mines been doing this more and more over the last year or so

i miss richard simmons - hope he's doing well

insomnia's the best when even when you do finally fall asleep no one will let you sleep more then 20-40min


whole months been like none of my pain meds work..

baseline pain has been disruptive to say it nicely

breakthru pain has been off the charts
add the tooth ache and I've run thru even my emergency stash and gonna be short to refills


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Unstoppable shitposting engine.