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the original text was ‘you’re being very rude to adolf hitler’ which i sure i don’t have to tell anyone (who’s not actively grinding an axe) is a joke about the liberal preference for civility over reality

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anyway i think i’m going to bring back the original profile text. the only person brave enough to address me publicly about it was still cowardly enough to pretend i’d been called a nazi by honest mistake and it was really completely my fault, so fuck ‘em

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My eye exam is on Groundhog Day, I just remembered. If the cost hasn't gone up, it will be an early spring

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Baby's out here like

'THE MAN* is trying to KEEP ME DOWN**'

*my loving father
**literally feed me the food I need to live

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Not to keep BabyPosting(tm) but like, it must feel so unjust to be a baby?

Like "I am hungry and in fact am actively being fed but I also NEED to do the worm RIGHT THIS MINUTE and I don't get why that's such a big PROBLEM???"

And there is no way to explain to them that bottle + thrashing = formula all over outside of baby instead of inside of baby (where it is supposed to go). They just know that now on top of everything else they are WET and it is NOT AGREEABLE.

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There was a comic book series from the late 90s that was a sort of dark comedy scifi that made a lot of social and political commentary and there's one part where a character argues with their AI assistant about skipping the emails that are secretly porn ads. "Just show me the real mail! I'll pay you." "I can't lie. I'm being paid to show you the porn."

Anyways I got a new phone and I've been installing games off the Play store.

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DONG WON 

Packaged, but excited to try this.

I made lovely bread that I have not eaten yet because then I got sick and felt cold and prickly all over for 24 hours. I'm a bit better now, look at my herb and cheese bread, thank you

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fact: child labor is illegal
fact: 100% of cops are babies
conclusion: cops aren’t workers

Related, sports bras with removable padding are terrible, no exceptions.

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I don't understand why there are not more front fastening bra options that are size inclusive and held together by more than a tiny plastic clasp that shifts around all day. Like, do most people enjoy back clasp or over the head?

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My cousin took the Pfizer booster shot 3 days ago and now his house is filled with classified documents.

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you get some top secret documents! you get some top secret documents! you get some top secret documents! you get some top secret documents!

you ALL get some top secret documents!

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5 minutes into Last of Us and had to turn it off, this imagery is too violent... shocking to watch someone do this

And Kim Cattrall plays future Sophie, telling her son how she met his father. She is also hot.

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.