Currently wearing jorts all over my body. Cops can’t stop me. No one can

Are bad things bad? Who can say. Not me, a person who runs a website. I am but a teeny little baby

oh you wouldn't believe the bullshit that happened on Flarbs today, I think I gonna post on Grangus for a few days

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The only good social media revolves around clothing for an animal. Thankfully, we have jorts dot horse, but I’m hopeful for a mouse hat experience someday

Babies cannot wear jorts… legally, or ethically for that matter. Ask any philosopher

Wearing jorts in my mind, spiritually, and also physically (a pair of tiny brain pants)

I think my thoughts are cool, but is that just one of the thoughts I think is cool? Is there a thought you can think that doesn’t just become a thought you thunk

If you befriend the Arby’s night shift they will let you use the beef shaver on anything you bring in.


"Maybe," he replied, through gritted teeth. "Or maybe that rice fried itself. Either way, I ain't tellin youse nothing."

Pickles and cucumbers are only distantly related. They diverged genetically millions of years ago. Haters and scientists deny this obvious truth

I have been Posteing less since a tiny screaming baby moved into my house last month, but on the other hand, the baby is cute. But on the third hand, exhaustion delirium is kind of trippy

What would I bring to this job? Well, I can offer the creation of on-demand dashboards and narrative reports that provide you with a deeper look into KPIs for your patented child meat grinding machines. One of which I bought for my wife at Christmas, might I add

Real horse hours. Get your pants on. Who is dressed

Doing my best to slog on stubbornly through the muck even though to an outside observer it might look like I’m just sprawled on the ground whimpering softly

When bae catches you using ape magic to befuddle your many non-ape haters.

The universe does not care if it pisses you off. The universe keeps doing its thing regardless

I’m just trying to acquire nutrition pellets and bring them back to my enclosure without any problems

They won’t really let the robots take over until they can be sure the robots will be evil enough

When I get a haircut I get confused because the person in the mirror looks civilized and calm. Longing for the haggard drifter of last week

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.