I hope when I die it's because I fell in a volcano

one advantage of being on jorts horse is that whenever im not getting interaction i can blame it on the servers

toilet, you don't wanna open this one bud trust me Show more

If anyone's wondering how I'm doing the answer is "dying of shitty back-itis" ok thanks

@mood I definitely remember her name and in a Bad Way but I absolutely cannot remember why

Mike Gravel: I want to run not the win the presidency but to enter the debates and move the dialogue to a critique of imperialism

Comrades begrudgingly planning to vote Sanders sespite his imperialism: You shout the hell your mouth and get the hell in that white house Mike

Still on my Dracula Sex Tape bullshit Show more

Throne Games (no spoilers) Show more

Throne Games (no spoilers) Show more

Guess I gotta decide if I'm going to save up all the Throne Games and watch them 8 weeks from now or start tonight and trust my shitty brain to follow the plot one week at a time

Hellbent is really out here claiming to be the "first gay slasher" like we've never seen Nightmare on Elm Street 2

If you get a greek DVD of a Charlton Heston movie he'll be credited as "Charlton Easton" because Heston sounds like Χέστον which means "take a shit on him"

Hi I've had "Dracula Sex Tape" to the tune of Eleanor Rigby stuck in my head for forty minutes. How's everybody doing.

@vee I will say that it was not as bad as The Nun, but also I need to stop watching Conjuring movies because they are clearly not made for me

I'm mad that I sat all the way through Knock Knock so you'd THINK I'd put on something good now. But actually I'm gonna watch Annabelle: Creation because I'm a stupid bitch whom cannot learn

in gender reveal parties, the color of the balloons indicate that the parents are assholes

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.