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introducing MENDER

it’s like GENDER

but for MEN

🎶I love it when you call me Big Chungus🎶

Whoever came up with the idea that people tell the truth when they drink has obviously never met me when it's 5am and I'm passionately trying to convince some guy that Sting bought a castle in Ireland but it doesn't have indoor plumbing so he has to shit in the moat

Anyway I'm about to dig into Before We Vanish which is the new-ish Kiyoshi Kurosawa. Looks kinda like the spiritual successor to 2001's staggeringly fuckin brilliant Pulse so I'm hype.

So I finally watched Transcendence, which was quite good btw but I guess it's funny because while I was mentally prepared to stare at notable trash goblin Johnny Depp's face for two hours, I ended up being mad for the whole movie anyway over a .5 second-long cameo by Elon Musk

Imagine knowing how to make exactly enough soup for one person lmao

I literally cannot tell Chris Pine and Chris Hemsworth apart. What fucked up focus group decided we're supposed to be horny for these guys. Walking around lookin like they were made in the same laboratory where they invented beige paint.

Y'all seen that blu ray restoration because it is BEAUTIFUL

The dumb thing that happened on tv tonight, not the actual movie The Thing, which whips ass

I'm not going to watch The Thing. You absolutely cannot make me.

Happy 18th birthday to that one picture of Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears in matching denim prom outfits

Sorta half-watching Jason X and my main takeaway is that I want the robot lady's clothes

Struck dumb by the absolute force and power of the ultimate dunk

How great would it be to do the sickest burn of your career and then just never speak again

imagine how much better the world would be if Morrissey had just shut up forever right after he said that one thing about how it was a shame that Maggie Thatcher didn't get exploded that one time

Anyway I just bought The Room on dvd for my unwitting girlfriend what's up

THAT BEING SAID I absolutely support these things as a self care technique if you can afford it, nothing wrong with getting a relaxing facial just be aware that it doesn't do shit and you're just having some lady rub lotion on you to enya

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.