some really great tips here
@hasya23 I'm imagining some man getting sent a selfie by a girl and getting really mad that there's no man in the selfie.
he's just concerned for her safety, its so sweet
@hasya23 brb gonna go smash all my vases
@hasya23 every single one of these pink boxes drives me to ask yet more upsetting questions
questions and inquiries are to be avoided, especially of the upsetting sort. try cooing softly to place the man at ease.
Seriously though. Fancy even thinking this article was remotely true. 95%* of het cis males don't even know what a vase is.
@hasya23 Honestly that floral wallpaper is more of a red flag than any of the things they've pointed out ngl
@hasya23 "qualified life coach"
becoming a life coach as a lark and trying not to laugh as i tell my bougie clients to do increasingly ridiculous things
@hasya23 this reads more like a shopping list.
"The magazine says that pits of blood are off-putting, but where am I even going to find that much blood?"
blood is a sauce so you could probably substitute another sauce and some food coloring
"Is that a... Kiddie pool full of ketchup?"
"Huh... You're still here."
im a fan of the weirdly racist buddha caption, myself
Merciful fuck, I was so distracted by the threatening aura of a tiny cactus that I missed that trash fire of a blurb
Every second spent looking at it reveals a new travesty
be careful not to gaze too long, lest the abyss gaze back
@hasya23 hard to believe that a white lady "with a background in feng shui" could be this wrong, and yet here we are
even the greats stumble sometimes
@hasya23 throwing all my gloomy books on the floor to create more clutter
@hasya23 okay but now I'm gonna need to see the version of this that's for men hoping to date women
@hasya23 "also a qualified life coach" lmfao of course!
LMAO how is the BUDDHA a sign of poverty and isolation????
@hasya23 I sorta get the bit about clutter and lots of gloomy media in the library but.. buddha as a sign of poverty? say what
Also not sure how the collection of female imagery is supposed to say anything other than "this is a nice picture".
@hasya23 oh my god is this a parody thing or real? I'm dying
im not sure, i found it on another socmed platform
@hasya23 she has fifty one pictures of women up none of men? color me doubtful she wants attention from men.
As a male, I call bullshit. The #1 off-putting thing is a bad attitude.
@hasya23 “Buddha: a sign of poverty and isolation”
@hasya23 I'mma run out and get some cactus right away.
@hasya23 marie kondo for just fuckin weird shit
@hasya23 ...fifty one images of single women. uh
This is still hilarious. Why do men take relationship advice off men and women off women?
im fairly certain that any relationship advice in a magazine should be steered clear of, even the sex tips are weird things like ice cube blowjobs
I think I last went on a date something like 8 years ago so I'm very out of the loop. So last time a woman gave me her mobile number (out of the blue) I basically asked all my female friends (both gay and straight) do I call? Do I text? What are good places for a date? Etc. (I didn't get the date *sad face*)
When I was doing dates and relationships I felt pretty happy about it. But when I examine my feelings I think I was more happy to be passing as "normal" than to be with the person.
Nowadays I'm not very eager to be in a relationship or have a sexual life.
I'm a settled man, and I have all those things in my house (flowers, vase, buddhas etc).
Things that would turn a man off would probably be things like drug paraphernalia, too-many-cats or simply it just being plain nasty.
I think these magazines are written to keep the readers single and lonely with crap advice, so they keep buying this nonsense.
Unstoppable shitposting engine.