My 3 year old just yelled "THATS JUST A GOD DAMN OLD BOOK" and I'm v pleased

I’m the hot lunch lady of mastodon, giving everyone I like a little extra slime and a wink

Y'all remember that time I told laser he was out here looking like somebody's damn cousin

Like sand thru the hourglass so flowed the roasts of

At the children's museum and there's a dude w serious face tattoos and a toddler named Nixon lmfao

@ItsJenNotGabby He's admittedly a lot to handle even given his age. That's not really an excuse tho imo

@ItsJenNotGabby my kid has ADHD and some fuckwit teacher tried to kick him out of the chess club because he has a hard time sitting still. You can't actually exclude kids on the basis of disability though.

Just put the fear of god into my first grader's principal. When I got in the car Personal Jesus was playing. I love synchronicity

@nuttgodd @burgin @realtoddhoward yeah I was homeschooled 4th-6th so far out in the country that cable didn't go there. No wonder we're both such weird perverts

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.