I've been sending a network message through an application that american-flag-belt-coworker uses and I have full admin for every few weeks for months ... I can only send it if he's logged into the application, but the message UI is extremely vague and seems unrelated, and shows up unattached to the app.

"*Presidential Alert*:
THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed."

while I was typing this he grunted, "hmm" 'd, turned around and asked me "did you get a text message from the president??? I just got another presidential alert..." and I somehow kept a completely straight face fuck I am a GODDESS

I don't know how he, a long-term IT employee, isn't questioning how the white house is getting through our intranet and onto our desktops.... A MAJOR DATA SECURITY RED FLAG... but I'll take my victories where I can get them.

@killeveryhetero too bad it's work so you can't send a presidential alert with porn attached
or like 'karl marx quote of the day' from 'the whitehouse'

@Luxotek *Presidential Alert*: Did you know communism is Actually Good?

@killeveryhetero *Presidential Alert* On Monday Dec 17th we'll be detaining anyone wearing flag belts due to new information linking them as spies belonging to a Russian sleeper cell committing high treason to the United States. Please report anyone wearing any American flag paraphernalia to your local FBI offices immediately

@Luxotek *Presidential Alert*: On Tuesday December 18th we'll be detaining all citizens wearing khakis to drain their balls of pee and make sure they aren't hiding any terrorism in there.

@killeveryhetero if I've learned anything from my IT friends, it's that "long-term IT employee" sure as fuck doesn't mean "good at IT"

Thinking about it and I think my next message to him will finally deviate from "this is a test" and simply say:

"*Presidential Alert*:
THIS IS A MESSAGE from the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."

maybe send it to myself too at the same time and act super weirded out by it when he reacts

@killeveryhetero you should send one to yourself only that's something crazy about flagbelt guy and then show it to him and ask wtf

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