reporting LIVE from CUBICLE HELL, i bring you the latest in office humor!!! this is some real EPIC shit, folks

EL OH EL!!!!!

🚨 CRITICAL ALMOST-TWO-WEEK
UPDATE!!!!! 🚨

noticing that he just leaves these things up all week, i have chosen this monday to massively improve the situation

he has not noticed, yet

upon arriving to work today, all of the camels have been removed. unsure what the reaction was when he noticed

if he puts any/all of them back up this wednesday, i will print out a picture of a large horse with the words GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS!!!! and attach it to his cube this thursday

if questioned, i will deny any knowledge of these actions

two weeks from now on a thursday, i will wish him a "happy horseday" in passing

THE TARGET HAS LEFT EARLY FOR THE DAY

COMMENCE OPERATION:HORSEDAY. I REPEAT, COMMENCE OPERATION:HORSEDAY

OVER AND OUT, HOO RAH

there is no sign of my masterpiece to be seen

target's reaction: unknown

a reasonably accurate dramatization of his discovery upon arriving to work this morning: "what the, fuck? huh??"

OH ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN??? HUH??? YOU WANNA PLAY GUY??? ALRIGHT ITS ON, I'LL SEE YOU TUESDAY BUDDY 🐎🐎🐎 🐎🐎

i forgot to celebrate horseday

that's okay

it'll only mean his guard will be that much lower next week

THE TARGET HAS LEFT HIS DESK

HE SUSPECTS NOTHING

OPERATION HORSEDAY ROUND TWO: START

Follow

he didn't notice it for several minutes

while i was trying to get a sneaky photo of him typing with the horse in the background, he FOUND IT

behold the ultimate action shot:

"hey Tom, who came back here while i was gone?"

"huh?"

"like in the past 15 minutes, who came by my desk?"

"oh i dunno, i guess i wasn't paying attention"

"i got a ... horse. someone left a horse."

"i was here the whole time too, guess i didn't notice. huh."

I STRIKE FROM THE SHADOWS

NONE SUSPECT MY PRESENCE, LIKE A VERY DARK COLOURED PIDGEON IN A DARK ALLEYWAY, PLOTTING

IF THE CAMELS RETURN, NEXT WEEK A NEW HORSE WILL APPEAR, ALONG WITH AN EQUINE PHOTOGRAPH WITH THIS OVERLAYED ON TOP:

c'mon you motherfucker it's been two weeks without a camel picture put up

how am i supposed to continue my Art if you don't give me something to retaliate against???

i've overheard him talking about the inexplicable horse gift several times, it's still sitting on his desk

me, staring at the variety of horse figurines on my desk at home, all awaiting their chance for glory,

The Great Horse War is still stuck in a cease-fire since the Camel Nation halted all hostilities

this displeases me

there is, however, a parallel conflict in this office

one that has been going on for literal years

between my father, and an unknown antagonist

i overheard camelbro yesterday remarking that he is the culprit!!!!?

here's a screenshot of the direct quote

game on, fucker

you like that 8 0 so much, do ya?

good luck buddy, i keep a screwdriver in my purse at all times

a few minutes ago i stole the remote and snuck into a "phone room" (tiny private cubes for making calls)

after carefully removing (ripping) the 8 off, I scratched off the wiring on the board below it so that the 8 could never be pressed again

it kept lighting up anyway when I added the button back, but the button sits in the remote kinda shitty and it accidentally presses more than you want if you manage to get it to light up.... oh well, mission close enough to accomplished i guess

BUT WAIT

it turns out that if you manage to press the 8.... it sends 5, instead

CHECKMATE MOTHERFUCKER YOU CAME TO THE WRONG 🐎NEIGH🐎BORHOOD

THIS TUESDAY:

OPERATION HORSEDAY TAKES THINGS INTO ITS OWN HANDS

FOR TOO LONG HAVE WE WAITED ON DEFENSE

TUESDAY, WE GO ON THE OFFENSIVE OURSELVES

#🐎

THE LONG AWAITED CONTINUATION OF OPERATION HORSEDAY IS UPON US

first, behold the HORSE in it's natural state, exactly as it was when delivered onto the target's desk:

yes folks, that's right, you've guessed it: operation horseday has officially escalated to chemical weapons: GASLIGHTING

HAS THIS SADDLE ALWAYS BEEN HERE? SURELY IT HASNT... HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN HERE? WHO PUT IT HERE? HOW DOES IT FIT SO PERFECTLY??? WHERE HAS MY LIFE GONE WRONG?????

feel free to take bets on how long it takes him to notice the change

(yes that is a coffee mug that says I LOVE MY WIFE on it)

P.S.: two weeks after i confirm that he's noticed the saddle, the saddle will gain a humble rider, on a tuesday, of course

🚨 !!! RED ALERT !!! 🚨

THE TARGET HAS ARRIVED

I REPEAT, THE TARGET HAS ARRIVED

he's looking right at the thing as he scribbles post-it notes for later, but hasn't noticed that anything is wrong

CHANGE BLINDNESS IS IN EFFECT, I REPEAT, CHANGE BLINDNESS HAS TAKEN EFFECT

the horse has not moved an inch

he is drinking coffee from a mug he keeps placing directly next to it, seemingly never having realized anything is awry

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@killeveryhetero this entire saga is the funniest thing that's ever happened in an office building

@killeveryhetero I don’t know how I missed this before today, but I love this entire thread

@killeveryhetero god this is so epic. I fucking hate that commercial

@killeveryhetero the good news is when they redo all the channel numbers next week you can just claim the remote stopped working, get a new one, and then fix the new one too

@killeveryhetero today ends in y, it is hump day, and the channels are changing

@anna CN has been 64 around here since i was tiny smol zoey that's why i remember it

i don't even have cable or TV in general aside from streaming services now, but still

@killeveryhetero yeah i havent had cable in forever i am but a smol boomer

@killeveryhetero I've considered making something with an IR LED and a controller board in a key fob that s l o w l y turns the volume down over the course of a few minutes.

@killeveryhetero they've got their blinders on

The horse'd has become the horse

@killeveryhetero At first parsed this as him using the horse to type and you taking the photo in the background. So like, just imagine someone pushing the horse feet on the keyboard to type it is a really good thing to imagine.

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.