i just discovered that what i've thought (for years) was one person is, in fact, two distinct people

i've been mistaking this guy "Tom", important but not in my org, for "George", important, my boss's boss

i just thought this is what george looked like when he shaves (george has a scruffy beard, tom is clean shaven except for a goatee)

i've had important career conversations with tom that i then referenced in an email with george and i had NO IDEA

prosopagnosia is bullshit, for fucks sake,

i thought it was fucking weird that he seemed to keep switching beard styles every couple of weeks back and forth but i just wrote it off as a quirk BUT AS IT TURNS OFF, BOTH OF THESE MEN HAVE BEEN REMARKABLY CONSISTENT WITH THEIR FACIAL HAIR, FML,,,

i discovered this, by the by, by asking the unknown man to my left (who definitely knows me and probably assumes i recognize him too) to confirm that the guy in the corner was George

i don't know why this shit still surprises me at this point lmao

my fuckin brain hurts

now that i've made the realization i can hear that they sound NOTHING alike, this guy has this exaggerated Cajun drawl that the other guy doesn't have

GEORGE SHAVED. HE SHAVED. HE LITERALLY ACTUALLY SHAVED HIS FACIAL HAIR INTO A *FUCKING* GOATEE

SHSGDVGSHSJJDSSDDSsssssss

i can tell them apart now because i'm specifically paying attention to their voices BUT THE UNIVERSE IS INTENTIONALLY TROLLING ME AT THIS POINT WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

Follow

my boss says he's always had the goatee

i countered well yeah but he shaved the, he shaved the sides though

"no he's always had that"

.

i float through an ocean of uncertainty, carried upon waves of doubt, no harbours in sight,

@gdkar it turns out that every employee at this company is actually a humble man named Kevin,

@killeveryhetero you can’t honestly be expected to tell us all apart, honestly.

@micrackbiron @killeveryhetero wouldn’t be surprised if there were several similar songs.

@sweetmercury no one can convince me that the middle guy there isn't a serial killer

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.