"hey Tom, who came back here while i was gone?"
"like in the past 15 minutes, who came by my desk?"
"oh i dunno, i guess i wasn't paying attention"
"i got a ... horse. someone left a horse."
"i was here the whole time too, guess i didn't notice. huh."
I STRIKE FROM THE SHADOWS
NONE SUSPECT MY PRESENCE, LIKE A VERY DARK COLOURED PIDGEON IN A DARK ALLEYWAY, PLOTTING
IF THE CAMELS RETURN, NEXT WEEK A NEW HORSE WILL APPEAR, ALONG WITH AN EQUINE PHOTOGRAPH WITH THIS OVERLAYED ON TOP:
a few minutes ago i stole the remote and snuck into a "phone room" (tiny private cubes for making calls)
after carefully removing (ripping) the 8 off, I scratched off the wiring on the board below it so that the 8 could never be pressed again
it kept lighting up anyway when I added the button back, but the button sits in the remote kinda shitty and it accidentally presses more than you want if you manage to get it to light up.... oh well, mission close enough to accomplished i guess
yes folks, that's right, you've guessed it: operation horseday has officially escalated to chemical weapons: GASLIGHTING
HAS THIS SADDLE ALWAYS BEEN HERE? SURELY IT HASNT... HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN HERE? WHO PUT IT HERE? HOW DOES IT FIT SO PERFECTLY??? WHERE HAS MY LIFE GONE WRONG?????
feel free to take bets on how long it takes him to notice the ｃｈａｎｇｅ
(yes that is a coffee mug that says I LOVE MY WIFE on it)
the horse has not moved an inch
he is drinking coffee from a mug he keeps placing directly next to it, seemingly never having realized anything is awry
i don't think he'll ever realize it
it is decided! within the next week or two, we will add the bridle onto the horse, and see if that garners any kind of reaction or notice.
several weeks later, the reins will make their appearance. HOW MANY CHANGES CAN I MAKE WITH HIM STILL UNAWARES? tune in next week to find out, same horse time same horse channel
"Ahhh what the fuck, what is this?? Who visited me?"
"I don't know"
"I don't know either. It wasn't here this morning, so someone put it up in the last 15 minutes..."
"What is the date...? Today is 11/5... So what is significant about the fifth of November....."
"Billy maybe? He was just up here."
"I dunno. I dunno. I don't know what this means."
"Look somebody did *this*, and i dunno who did this one either. Put a horse on my desk a few months ago, I don't know what that's about either."
I went and checked his STASH to see if he still had my old printouts, but it seems he ditched them or ferreted them away somewhere else. I was gonna put back up all 3 at once next week, but all he has are his two stupid camel prints and this most recent horse print of mine...
He doesn't seem to have ever connected the previous printouts (flying camel, first horse print) with this one or with the horse toy, and he certainly hasn't connected the whole thing with his dumb hump day jokes...
he hasn't noticed this always happens on a tuesday (horseday), but he has at last recognized the connection between the horse figurine and today's assault. he still seems completely oblivious that the saddle wasn't there from the start (goddamned change blindness)
next week i'll either go subtle (bridle + reins) or full on frontal assault (bridle + reins + rider + bonus horse), maybe depending on what he does tomorrow
PERHAPS, ONE DAY, HE'LL PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER, BUT TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY,
@killeveryhetero please tell me you still have the fried flying camel meme to add back too
@Luxotek he has it somewhere
@killeveryhetero just want to say, this thread is beautiful and you're a master at your craft.
@killeveryhetero it's happening
@killeveryhetero just getting caught up on the great horse war and it seems like things are really galloping along.
@killeveryhetero holy shit I just read this whole thread and I am DYING. I firmly support the Horse Nation in its valiant struggle against Camel imperialism
@killeveryhetero this is why I follow you
@killeveryhetero i like the red and black clips
@lyliawisteria secret praxis
@killeveryhetero the way you print these melts my brain
@killeveryhetero omg "PAGE 2 OF TWO" ended me
@killeveryhetero "page 2 of two"
@killeveryhetero Jesus, this will tip him over the edge.
@killeveryhetero Omggg 😂
@killeveryhetero terrifying and cursed
@killeveryhetero somehow, fox news guy has no sense of humour
@lyliawisteria i still don't think he actually watches fox news, i think he just wanted to troll (unknowingly) my dad
he does "pranks" all the time, he just apparently doesn't even remotely consider me a suspect for the turnabout
@killeveryhetero REMEMBER REMEMBER THE 5TH OF NOVEMBER
CAMEL-HORSE TREASON AND PLOT,
@anna yeah the 5th of november reference was accidental but its even funnier that he didn't get it
@killeveryhetero : so, some bad news...
@dubsteppenwolf : you didn't...
@killeveryhetero : uh.. we might not be able to afford our vacation this year
@dubsteppenwolf : you did Not spend the entire vacation fund on plastic horses!
@killeveryhetero : noooo!
@dubsteppenwolf : oh good.. so we can go?
@killeveryhetero : well, no.. i also spent a good chunk on plastic saddles, bridles, and little riders too
@dubsteppenwolf : god damnit zoey
@killeveryhetero Page 1 of 1 baby
@radicalrobit he always uses the same fucking piece of paper i should draw a dick on it when he's not here
Unstoppable shitposting engine.