fast forwarding a month we cut, and then sold, a few dozen shitty gems that were clogging my stockpiles anyway, to purchase:
*many barrels of alcohol
*a kangaroo brain?
*a barrel full of snake venom, for some reason, we'll find something funny to use it for
*a whimsical goat
*an incredibly expensive flask named "DISASTER OF NIGHT LEATHER WATERSKIN" whose sinister aura called to me
*like 100 lbs of cheese these mfers were loaded with cheese

this flask tho, look at it, this is important, somehow

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what a stupid fucking question obviously the only thing we need is booze

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hope these assholes like gems, we've now got 3 legendary fucking gem cutters

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upon closer inspection, it actually turns out that this is not, in fact, a visit by the "goblin outpost", it's just that the outpost liaison for the very dwarven caravan is ... a goblin

my best guess is they captured and enslaved a goblin at some point in the world history, and then she had the greatest come-up of her life to end up as a dwarven diplomat

this actually sounds like some lib "heartwarming tale of overcoming slavery" movie script shit, look for it on the hallmark channel soon

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jesus fucking christ, there she is

of course it's a goblin trading caravan, why wouldn't it be a goblin trading caravan, we built in a fucking pit they love pits

maybe we can convert them to our 𝕾𝖓𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖒 faith wow i did not think that word would come out like that okay moving past it 𝕾𝖓𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖘 unite i guess

GOBLIN TIME

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.......

............................

................................................

sorry, the 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩?

the 𝙂𝙊𝘽𝙇𝙄𝙉 outpost liaison?????????

WHAT?

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with Autumn upon us, the caravan has arrived! just like the message states, this is a sorely needed relief; we can purchase fine, dwarven liquors from our brothers in the mountainhomes!

ah, how wonderful it will be to see some familiar, bearded faces from the homelands. everyone is looking forward to reuniting with our brethren.....

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we've had several new arrivals, and among them, 3 legendary workers -- a weaponsmith, gem cutter, and bone carver. very cool! we're going to need lots of weapons, considering that our entire miliary plans revolved around an apparently "Frail" guardian deity, fucking great

they are all varying degrees of pissed off about the fact that they're sleeping in the dirt and have nothing to drink and the food all sucks, though, so it sounds to me like they're all asking to be hurled into a fucking chasm

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at the peak of our little mountain, we have fruiting peach trees and a surprising amount of wild melons. eventually, a temple dedicated to praising our beloved 𝕾𝖓𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖗𝖘, 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕿𝖜𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝕭𝖗𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘 is planned for construction right on the top -- a pretty scenic spot for a temple, if i say so myself

......

(i fucked up and delete/redrafted the wrong post in the chain fuck me my bad here it is again)

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ok folks we've reached Autumn and with it, some major developments - but first, let me give you the crib tour

we're located on a half mountain, half stream map - perfect for worshiping elephants in - and our entrance is kind of unique, in that it's buried in a pit

the trading outpost is on the plateau overlooking the pit -- note the elevation levels under the map

near the entrance is the dining room. below, we have storage and workshops, and several levels up, we're working on living quarters

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are you fucking kidding me?

it's all going to hell, folks

our 𝖉𝖊𝖎𝖙𝖞 is being humiliated by a squirrel

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We have arrived. STRIKE THE EARTH. And with that we---

wait one goddamned minute. "Frail"?? what the fuck do you mean, frail??? my entire society is based around you and you're 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒍???????????

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our seven intrepid souls will embark, with almost no equipment or food to their name, on a pilgrimage to 𝕮𝖗𝖚𝖒𝖇𝖑𝖊𝖉𝖇𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖈𝖍, 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕭𝖚𝖑𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖐 𝖔𝖋 𝕾𝖓𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖘. Together, they are known as 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕱𝖆𝖎𝖙𝖍𝖋𝖚𝖑 𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝕾𝖓𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖘. Our patron deity is, of course, 𝕾𝖓𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖗𝖘, 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕿𝖜𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝕭𝖗𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘. She must be protected at *all costs*.

rest of the thread shall follow as events develop naturally, so,

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and of course, the fortress' name has been chosen. our fortress stands as a faithful bulwark for our beloved Snarlingterrors, so obviously the name should follow

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.