Zoey - Arby's™ Ambassador 🥡 @killeveryhetero@jorts.horse

.......we have several pages of this. I really dunno what's going on here -- they've all got similar vaguely-japanese sounding usernames, algorithmic display names of "real names", and random avis presumably generated randomly from imgur or google images.

we've temporarily disabled sign-ups to jorts.horse to stop whatever script is creating hundreds of these accounts for no discernable reason. you can still invite users if you need/want to.

god knows why someone made 20 bot accounts last night but they're all banned now

me every tuesday

no one is discussing the horse incident

i dunno if i just missed the discussion or if he quietly put it away, the only thing they're hollering about is the Boomer Flu

i am disappoint

it's fine, it's fine -- i've spent the time making a rough draft of the next page, feel free to spoiler yourself by taking a look, or leave the media hidden so things are still fresh when it happens!!

there's no fucking way THIS one won't trigger at least a heated debate though

BACK AT MY DESK AND LISTENING INTENTLY

THE PAYLOAD IS MIA

🚨 YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 🚨

and i cannot stress this enough,

🚨 HAAAWWWWWWWW 🚨

👀
👀
👀

positioning my character on the largest possible mounts directly in front of where i know @dubsteppenwolf 's camera is while she's doing shit is my passion

it isn't even true lmao

i don't think he noticed my email signature change which is a damned shame cuz that was 90% of the joke but i'll take the victory nonetheless

BEHOLD: MY HAIR

also, and pay attention to this you smarmy fucks who keep repeatedly reporting my users to me for this, I AM EXPLICITLY SOLICITING BOOSTS FOR THIS SELFIE. BOOST THIS SELFIE. if reading those lines made your blood boil, get some help

()

imagemagick wasn't installed

KLOBGOBLINS RISE UP

HE CHILLIN'

here is a rough mock-up of the planned payloads (NOT FINAL DRAFTS!!!), sans background corruption fuckery

PAGE ??? OF ??? (the finale) will be a gruesome sight to behold, and its appearance will herald the arrival of ADDITIONAL HORSE FIGURINES

PAGE 1 OF ??? HAS BEEN DELIVERED

so i guess someone named Melanie broke into my Spotify account somehow, they've been listening to shit for a few hours and adding songs to my playlists

anyway, now i'm making them listen to Where The Hood at, by DMX, at full volume, repeating the good part over and over again,

oh i forgot the picture to accompany the entry before last! Here You Go

HAPPY TUESDAY MOTHERFUCKER

HE TAUNTS US