manic pixie fever dream @killeveryhetero@jorts.horse

*notices bulge* OwO what's this???

hey check out american-flag-belt-coworker's wicked socks today

SURPRISE!!!

(i found this AFTER i finished using it)

ah yes, a nice, clean, toilet to use! i sure love how clean and sanitary the office bathroom is!

🚨 CRITICAL ALMOST-TWO-WEEK
UPDATE!!!!! 🚨

noticing that he just leaves these things up all week, i have chosen this monday to massively improve the situation

he has not noticed, yet

A Quality Fallout Video, part Two

A Quality Fallout Video, part One

⚠️ URGENT ONE-WEEK UPDATE!!!! ⚠️

final fantasy 14 is now a video game about cars

GODDAMN THATS A SEXY ROBOT WEW

Oh are we talking about #sneakers now?

Don't even bother speaking to me if you don't own a pair of the Pizza Hut Pie Tops, you uncultured swine.

see that shadow???? that's american-flag-belt-coworker's head, suddenly borrowing a neighboring cubicle

fuuuuuuuuuuck,

reporting LIVE from CUBICLE HELL, i bring you the latest in office humor!!! this is some real EPIC shit, folks

EL OH EL!!!!!

LOL!!!! GET IT????,!

it has come to my attention, that some people don't know how to, "dance"?

this is shocking to me, as dancing could not be more of a straightforward, natural activity!

accordingly, i've recorded a short, looping, "tutorial", on dancing, a,,, "how To dance," video, if you will,,,, to ensure that no one is left out of, the joy, of dancing!./

please, enjoy, with my Blessings !

()

love too trip and slash my tiddy open with an ink pen i was holding in my mouth

ow,

(slight )

a shocking confession, (?)

🎶 it's beginning to look a lot, like, lesbians
evvvvvverywheeeeere i goooo 🎵

you know what, let's have a thread, actually! screenshot your home screens and post them here, here's my hella gay submission

LET'S FIND OUT: WHOMST HAS THE GAYEST HOMESCREEN IN ALL OF THE FEDIVERSE??? (don't cheat, post what it's already set to right now)

good morning friends

naptime at starbucks!