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finna open a sex shop that specializes in lube and name it The Slick Shack send toot

broke: used panty vending machines

woke: used condom vending machines

@killeveryhetero K60 keyboard here, love to be able to use it as a weapon in emergencies

ya girl got caught in the rain earlier, so i've been doing a heckin' fluff all day

boosting fluffy selfies is self care,

my feet, cracked and bloody, trudge along the ancient pathway. this journey has cost the twilight of my lifespan -- climbing my life away.

finally, after four long years of struggle,

a light shines before me

I have, arrived.

as I approach the temple, I wipe away invisible tears of joy, my body long since dehydrated. in the doorway, the Oracle appears, bathed in unnatural light.

"Speak your question, my child, and it shall be answered."

"...why.... do cats' feet... smell.. like popcorn...?"

there's a gigantic sign in the lobby of this hotel that says WATCH YOUR STEP! to warn you about some power cables on the ground, a it's taller than me

just watched someone run right into it and fall over

i'm now the subject of several angry glares for openly cracking up laughing

my feet, cracked and bloody, trudge along the ancient pathway. this journey has cost the twilight of my lifespan -- climbing my life away.

finally, after four long years of struggle,

a light shines before me

I have, arrived.

as I approach the temple, I wipe away invisible tears of joy, my body long since dehydrated. in the doorway, the Oracle appears, bathed in unnatural light.

"Speak your question, my child, and it shall be answered."

"...why.... do cats' feet... smell.. like popcorn...?"

@killeveryhetero ZOEY i can never fucking tell when you're epic trolling me. quit it

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.