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All these dupes paying bus fare while I pay nothing and simply tie a kong dog toy to the back of the bus, bite down on it, and let the bus drag me wherever I please.

here is a video of a tiny bird for you to enjoy on this fine horseday morn, my friends

there is no sign of my masterpiece to be seen

target's reaction: unknown

a reasonably accurate dramatization of his discovery upon arriving to work this morning: "what the, fuck? huh??"

THE TARGET HAS LEFT EARLY FOR THE DAY

COMMENCE OPERATION:HORSEDAY. I REPEAT, COMMENCE OPERATION:HORSEDAY

OVER AND OUT, HOO RAH

"dang... i needa deal with that... but not right now i don't!"

--ancient zoey proverb

@pizza @killeveryhetero

walking up to a podium loaded with dozens of microphones and waiting for the clicking of cameras to quiet down before i lean forward and say "must be a federation bug" and then turning around to leave without taking questions.

hell yeah I'm a GAMEr

G longingly
A staring
ï¼­ out the window
ï¼¥ of my very tall
r office building

i've barely been awake for 2 hours today and it's already been a shitshow

my moron idiot cat has been obsessed with watching TV the past few weeks, but seems to think that the TV is a portal into the fish dimension and almost knocked the fucking thing over at 7AM

then i get up to vomit city where one of these jerks has barfed all over the kitchen

wednesday is cursed

🎶 YOU CAN, WEAR PANTS IF YOU WANT TO, but have you LOST YOUR FUCKIN' MIND? WHY WOULD YOU WEAR PANTS, CMON TAKE A CHANCE, OR YOU'RE, NO FRIEND OF MINE 🎵

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.