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🚨 No, Jorts is not on 3.0. I fucked up over the holidays and didn't get the updates to go through. That being said, at least one instance that theoretically shouldn't see us, seems to be able to see us. i'll try to update us this weekend, if i can get my shit together 🚨

"well *I* think it's Brent."

"Brent?"

"Brent."

"it couldn't be! here, look at this handwriting. you think *that's* from *Brent*???"

"hrmmm."

"why didn't i get horsed yesterday? i swear they know when i have the camera up and they don't come anywhere near here. they know."

"but how could they know?"

"cuz one of YOU are an ACCOMPLICE."

laughter all around

they're talking about the horses

"[...] heck, i was a little disappointed yesterday, when nothing appeared. i was waiting for it. waiting for it."

"it *was* tuesday"

"yep. yep. somehow someway donna or brian know i'm onto them. i ain't stressed about it, don't bother me none."

godsdamnit i just heard him shouting "DONNA. DONNA." and realized that the big heated discussion for the last hour I've been ignoring with headphones switched from work to horses at some point and i missed it

woops

i had Lux write the note (@dubsteppenwolf) and she intentionally wrote differently and carefully, he'll never find someone to compare it to cuz it's written by someone he's never met

lol

me: "you gotta compare that to people's handwriting around here"

"looks like a lady's handwriting to me... dudes don't write like that. look at the a's. right zoey?"

me: "yeah, looks like it. don't recognize it though"

"yeah exactly, no one writes shit these days, it's all electronic. this doesn't help"

"i bet it's Donna."

(skeptical, pointing) "Donna???"

"no, not that Donna, prankster Donna."

"hmmmm. yeah, maybe. i dunno when she's even been up here though."

"i still say it's Carlos."

"you got any horse stuff?"

me: "probably not, eh? no one's been here for three weeks"

"yep. yep. remember my note? 'leave cash next time'? they left THIS."

"...where do you even get stuff like that?"

"i have no idea. no clue."

"amazon?"

"and they bought me a $20 book too! somebody's willing to spend MONEY on this prank."

"the perfect horse..." (he snorts loudly)

me: "is that a note?"

"yep. yep."

"handwriting. that's evidence!"

coworker, talking to someone: "so you ready to deploy?"

me, waiting for the punchline:

co-worker 2: "huh?"

co-worker: "we deploy in may"

me:

me: (oh they're talking about an IT system)

me, quietly: "i thought you were making an Iran joke"

co-worker:

co-worker:

co-worker: "fake news"

maga co-worker around the corner sighs loudly

GOLLY GEE IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK FOLKS LET'S GET THAT BREAD

i'm at a cracker barrel and i'm quite certain that my co-worker could use a nice candle to brighten up his desk

the sad thing is

he's gonna get back to work on the 6th

unaware that horseday shenanigans have happened on both holiday Tuesdays

and he's gonna get in at like 5 or 6 AM like the lunatic that he is

so we don't get to witness his initial reaction to any of it

@killeveryhetero this is the most incredible thread on this website

@killeveryhetero I’ve just read through this entire thread and it really is next-level shit, I’m in awe

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jorts.horse

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