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i was gonna upload a screenshot of our backlog being at 0 but right yeah i forgot media doesnt work

BACKLOG IS AT 0 BABEYYYYY

if we're having any federating problems we can't blame it on the backlog anymore

YEE, and i cannot stress this enough, HAW

🚨 WE BACK BABEYYYYYYY 🚨

media is schrodinger's catfucked -- we seem to *have* old media, but we can't *upload* media, or pick up new media. i don't fuckin know. i've been at this for 9 hours.

streaming is inconsistent... home and federated appear to be streaming for the most part, local doesn't want to. leave it alone, it needs a break, it's tired

web is good!

some of our customizations are missing until i re-do them, who cares, it's better than being on our old janky shit code

:blobdab:

reminder that this exists if you are lost or scared: discord.gg/m4pHvXN

...but, staying on theme with all my shit being busted, the captcha system on my discord bot broke when i updated it so just @ me to get confirmed from the purgatory channel

🚨 JORTS GOIN OFFLINE FOR A LITTLE BIT, HOPEFULLY WE COME BACK UPDATED 🚨

shit might break or go offline in a while when i get further in the process but it's gonna be worth it to not have a fundamentally, disastrously broken website

i dunno why images are fucked (i assume it's wasabi and not my fault) but it's annoyed me enough to begin the process of beginning JORTS DOT HORSE 2.0 -- i'm installing shit through an ssh session on my phone, at work

nice my boss just "volunteered" me for some shitty rotation on a change control board

....for 3 months in the middle of 2021

guess he's not planning on firing me any time soon

guess that means the fact that i'm typing this from home cuz i just straight up went home after lunch cuz i wasn't feeling it isn't gonna bite me in the ass after all!

it was gonna be one page per week and the escalations were gonna be super gradual but i'm going on vacation in 2 weeks and my dad refused to be my accomplice for an AIRTIGHT ALIBI of horse sightings occurring while i'm on the other end of the country

so

once per month is the only non-suspicious plot i can go with

i think he noticed it while i was in the bathroom

he's convinced that this was the work of "Donna", who apparently came by earlier

i made sure to run a horseday operation today because Carlos (his former prime suspect) and Brent (his other prime suspect) had both been in town and around the office yesterday... but i think i inadvertently cleared Carlos, as he's working across town today. woop

the target has returned from lunch, and is sitting in his desk. the HORSE PAYLOAD is two inches behind him.

fairly certain he has not noticed its presence

here is a rough mock-up of the planned payloads (NOT FINAL DRAFTS!!!), sans background corruption fuckery

PAGE ??? OF ??? (the finale) will be a gruesome sight to behold, and its appearance will herald the arrival of ADDITIONAL HORSE FIGURINES

ONCE PER MONTH, THE HORSE WILL BECOME INCREASINGLY LARGER, CLOSER TO THE FOREGROUND, WITH THE PEACEFUL MEADOW GRADUALLY INCREASING IN CORRUPTION

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.