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🚨 brb one sec gonna allocate more storage to the swap partition, should only be down for 4-5 mins 🚨

BuzzFeed's Top Ten Tips for Honking Off in a Crowded Arby's™ Without Getting Caught by the Fukcing Cops

Well HOT DAMN folks it's that time of year again and I know you're all gathering the family and heading down to the local Arby's™ but before you go, take a gander at this Hot Tips gathered by local experts:

1) Don't forget the sunscreen!
[ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ...]

:promoted: Promoted

media.jorts.horse/horse-media/

this image was uploaded to wasabi manually, in november of 2018

that's the day i tried to implement this background image in the single dumbest way possible (fucking with mastodon's actual code) and broke jorts.horse the worst it ever was broken

two years later.... THE JORTS RETURN TRIUMPHANT.....

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@killeveryhetero cat spines are pretty cool but humans are forbidden from having them, watch yourself

i doubt anyone uses the "non-advanced" mode with only a single column but i fixed it for those users now

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she won't even do the laundry, she just lays there cultivating mass

smh

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you gotta clear your cache for it to update the favicon in your browser, tho, if you give a shit

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i fixed the :angry_laugh: favicon after years of not fixing it

also the error page is ... well ... lets call it an easter egg, i kind of like the accident that happened here... mouse over the elephant:

jorts.horse/asdfasdfasdf

i wonder how many defunct accounts i'm following from dead instances

i just went through and dealt with all the reports in the queue i've been ignoring for months, i'm not gonna announce every action i took cuz i've already forgotten half of them but we de-fed'd a couple of weird spam instances and silenced one guy posting his dick and resolved a ton of frivolous reports against you guys with sassy resolution notes

if anyone has been thinking of joining or coming back to JORTS DOT HORSE :jhorse: and didn't because it was so out of date, well, now's your chance. sign-ups are re-enabled, we're running latest masto, and (afaik) we've never been at the center of a fedi controversy

downsides: absentee badmin who never posts

upsides: damn thats a sexy jorts horse logo :jorthorse:

i might need to disable sign-ups again if we get inundated with weird bot accounts like last time, but for now they're open!

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.