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In Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the character "Shredder" gets his name from his reputation for "shredding" the competition*

*In this particular case, the competitions are competitions in the art of shredding

The humor of Abbot and Costello's famous "Who's on First" routine comes from the fact that Abbot describes players with names like "Who" and "What," and Costello is Italian.

I will never watch a movie with a talking dog. Dogs do not talk it is bullshit!

Challenging all the other husbands to a debate about the philosophy of husbands.

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Thrilled to announce my youtube series: "The Joker Saying Swears"

Nate Silver, holding up a calculator: "Centrism is somewhere in the middle."

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Me, slipping on a banana peel and falling off a skyscraper: "Giiiiit gooooooooood!"

King of the forest: "I am king of the forest!"
Me: "Fuck to the forest!"
King of the forest: "WTF!"

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Me: *steps out of time machine* Greetings, people of the past. This is called a smartphone. It has virtually unlimited potential to access information and communicate with almost anyone in the entire world. I use mine to take pictures of my cat and to capture imaginary creatures that we in the future call 'pokemon.' But you can also hatch pokemon from eggs. Let me show you...

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im sure there's a precise compsci definition of information, but i don't understand how it interacts with the human component of the system

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me, grinding the porcelain from a toilet into dust and mixing it with vinegar: "ah, british cooking"

Instagram is short for "Instantaneous Graham"

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this may be a little unorthodox but *becomes a protestant*

In canada, when you're angry at somebody for severely messing something up, the insult you call them is "an absolute canada"

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in canada, bees are called "poutine bees" and they weigh seven pounds

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In Canada, a boxing match is called "A Trudeau" and socks are called "a pair of Trudeaus"

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.