@red what's this? I recognize Randall Park and Karan Soni I think? 😁

@Louisa yeah! it's a movie on netflix called "always be my maybe". i'm only like 20 mins in, but it's pretty funny

@Louisa uh they just made an unimpressive joke about nonbinary gender and now the movie and i are on a fight 😤

@Louisa the annoying part is that the whole movie is kind of hilarious, so like why didn't they just make that joke funny too

@red I hate that feeling, like they could have made things just a little better and made you feel included on something

"are you having a boy or a girl?"
"actually we're doing the nonbinary gender thing, so just buy all grey baby clothes"

who let the cis write jokes?? have they never met a trans person before???? my wardrobe is like if a rainbow peacock fucked a gay kaleidoscope

@red @Louisa When my kids were babies I loved putting them in gender in-determinant colors and watching people go nuts trying to figure out what was going on.

@desitively @red oof, I hate the easy, lazy comedy idea that considering gender as anything other than a binary means we're all going to become dour drudges in gray robes

@Louisa @red Hey, somebody wants to dress flamboyantly brightly in a dress and heels, go for it, but it shouldn't be expected based on the junk you're born with.

@desitively @red anything's better than the complete mental breakdown straight cis men have when they wear a pink shirt and someone says "heh, pink shirt"

@Louisa @desitively @red I would also like to add that the fact that other cis will go out of their way to say "hey pink shirt" a thousand times if a cis dude is wearing one is also a bit weird

@SanfordianPhil @desitively @red yes, it's a real crabs-pulling-the-escaping-crab-back-into-the-bucket scenario

@Louisa @SanfordianPhil @red EVERY (allegedly) straight cis man is scared to death that people will find out how quick they'd fuck a guy if you got enough drinks into them.

@SanfordianPhil @Louisa @desitively for better or worse, our culture has deeply-ingrained gender codes in the garments, styles and colors of clothing we wear

as limiting as this is in the context of binary gender, it is simultaneously SO FUCKING POWERFUL outside that binary. you can weave together the most fascinating syntheses of "mismatched" combinations across every different axis of gendered expression. you can powerclash the fuck out of gender

@SanfordianPhil @Louisa @desitively so the idea that nonbinary automatically equals drab


.... like






................ like.....





@red @Louisa @desitively yeah, I mean I wear drab stuff sometimes but probably less now that I know I'm NB and don't feel pushed to just coast under the radar

@red @SanfordianPhil @Louisa Heck, even stuff that's not mismatched on the surface. I'm involved in kink, and one of the things that fascinates me is that when I wear big macho boots I don't feel a desire to stomp around, it makes me want to place them very precisely, almost like they're dance shoes. Especially when you're "playing" with another person.

@Louisa @red I used to wear pink polo and oxford shirts all the time. I never got the anxiety over it. I look better in black and jewel tones now.

@desitively @red that's great! Women love that kind of confidence 😁 (assuming you are interested in women- I'm sure everyone else enjoys it too)

@Louisa @red Well, as I got older and more confident, I kind of figured out that my sexual orientation is "yes".

@Louisa @red Oh, it has been. The part where my birth family decided they wanted to cut off all contact with me over it was less fun, but that's life.

@red @Louisa is that actually a joke or just what cis people honestly believe

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