here to have fun, he/him 🏴👍
*Senator Dick Durbin, looks at a list of people born on his birth date and speaks to himself in the third person*
Why, they're all Durbin's age!
Anytime anyone mistakes me for being anything less than highly intelligent, I show them polaroids of my bookshelves. That's right. plural
food Show more
UPDATE: it was delicious
First try at boule. Looks good to me
I had a dream that I was dispatched to Sweden because they needed a Submarine Lit professor at their rural university
drug and alcohol Show more
I passed out before the Giuliani scene in Borat 2 last night. My early and incomplete review: it’s not good
Anne Hathaway in The Witches Show more
in the future all artists will be called "banksys" in honour of banksy, the original banksy.
@Thomas @Dayglochainsaw is there sexual energy radiating off this guy? Can’t tell
Number one is shitting out an alarm clock
time to face the facts: The Boys of Summer are in all likelihood dead at this point
The Misfits are like "what if KISS was good"
shenanigans (political) Show more
one thing I know for certain is Barron is home alone right now. No parents for two weeks. There will be shenanigans
sorry, meant to CW this one with UK violence mate
Pictures from today's hike
I hope he dies a lot, bigly
I'm just your average person on FB who believes Tom Hanks should be executed for his underground sex cauldron, and also people should be respectful of Donald and Melania Trump right now
@remulacfrommars I can't stay in a romantic relationship with a grave robber.when you exhume, you make an ex out of u and me
threat of violence against a deceased capitalist Show more
Can’t wait to get to hell so I can throat punch Orville Redenbacher. Motherfucker acted like he invented popcorn in his little bow tie and suspenders
when you legume, you make a leg out of you and me
palm trees aren't trees, they're actually a kind of giant grass. they are more closely related to corn than to oak trees.
my most cursed take on today’s events/lewdish? Show more
Figuring out how today’s news will make it okay to be horny for hope hicks now that she’s a hero to so many
Unstoppable shitposting engine.