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*Senator Dick Durbin, looks at a list of people born on his birth date and speaks to himself in the third person*

Why, they're all Durbin's age!

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Anytime anyone mistakes me for being anything less than highly intelligent, I show them polaroids of my bookshelves. That's right. plural

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More Like Piz Cheney (It's Supposed To Sound Like Piss)

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You know who really hates Isis? Bob Dylan. He never plays it anymore, and longtime fans are pissed

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You a simple pleeb: youtube recommends songs you might like
Me an amazing badass: bo staff tricks and lock breaking tips

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the best way to describe my generation is, old enough to remember waterbeds, but not old enough to have ever fucked on a waterbed

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I love when a large instance goes down and we all hop on our alts. You don’t get that anywhere else

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ok so we're asking garfield's questions for ep 3

Elvis died doing an upper-decker. The authorities don't want you to know this

If the doctor wanted me to ever go back, she should have said I have a macrobody not a micropenis

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Mad not mad that someone already had this idea for a costume

Cw - eye contact

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.