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*Senator Dick Durbin, looks at a list of people born on his birth date and speaks to himself in the third person*

Why, they're all Durbin's age!

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Anytime anyone mistakes me for being anything less than highly intelligent, I show them polaroids of my bookshelves. That's right. plural

No one is more wrong yet so full of themselves than the “breathe through your nose” crew


A keg should count as one beer if you drink from the tap

pics of me EC boosts ++++ 

really gotta watch my angles on this one though lmao

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I have one of those Greek curses, like Sisyphus. Except mine is always thinking I need to shit

Me, when I stroll into the Agora to do battle with my ideas: more like “suckcrates”

I don't give a shit about the rules of narnia if a MILF offers me some "turkish delight" I'm all in

At the doctor because I hurt my hand and oh no the doctor is fine as hell

online marxism tends to have the opposite problem where people feel the need to identify themselves with geopolitical conflicts that haven't mattered for 30 years. like why are you taking sides on the sino-albanian split now. you've never even been to albania

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I have built a machine for separating art and artists. I have been told it is very painful and awfully wet

Low Fidelity Hip Hop Beats to Study To is my favorite Jon Cusak movie because it makes a lot of references that I get

please do not say "lo-fi beats to study/relax to" to me unless you want to spend hrs explaining what the fuck these fis are & who determines their hierarchy

if netflix runs out of murderers, they won't have enough money to fund Adam Sandler's Booger Dad trilogy. someone needs to step up here

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I have put Saran Wrap on the toilet seat of one lucky follower

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.