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People have called your style "motherly, but with a punk edge. Would you call your look

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Robert boosted

Joe Biden is just Pierce Hawthorne from community and also Chevy chase on the set of community

Robert boosted

twitter.com/sweekbat/status/11 "My roommate got super stoned a couple weeks back and found out you can order a personalized big toblerone. He immediately forgot about it until it showed up last night"

Robert boosted

i'm gonna write a song about my husband that refuses to wash his taint and how he has changed my perception of beauty standards

Robert boosted
Robert boosted

Here's the new logo for the #IWW Southern Coordinating Committee, we're about to scare the shit out of an employer taking out their garbage

Robert boosted
Robert boosted
Robert boosted
Robert boosted
Robert boosted

@selontheweb Gregor samsa’s boss points at rule book. “There’s no rule saying vermin can’t still come to work”

Robert boosted

Gregor Samsa's Air Bug, coming soon to own on DVD and video cassette

Robert boosted
Robert boosted
Robert boosted

@mood @gayalien @larrydavis my Google Maps now tells me how long the drive to the Dairy Queen is when I open it, which is very embarrassing

Robert boosted

John Bolton was fired because his mustache detached like Soundwave’s cassette tapes during a cabinet meeting and started strangling Ivanka.

Robert boosted
Robert boosted

IT: Chapter 2 was the worst IT Crowd reboot I’ve ever seen

Robert boosted

40 year olds please do not be "deep into fandom" and instead "smoke a fucking cigarette"

Robert boosted

I like how in "Chantilly Lace" the Big Bopper confirms "this is the Big Bopper speakin'", as if anyone else in the world answers the phone by saying "helllllloOoOo bAaAaAaby"

Robert boosted

☎️☎️
The Big Bopper: helllllloOoOo bAaAaAaby
Me: Buddy Holly, is that you?
The Big Bopper: NoOoOoOo
Me: Oh! Sorry, Chubby Checker. You sounded like Buddy Holly for a second there.
The Big Bopper: OoOoOoh nOoOoOo

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.