Pinned toot

Corporeal punishment (being forced to have a body)

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Wash My Dick, My Ass (I Won't Wash My Dick)

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Pinned toot
Pinned toot
Robert boosted

:,( evil parts of the new Cuban family law:

Bathroom signage must be taken down, even if you collect bathroom signage and have posted bathroom signage all around your home
The "nuclear family" now legally must refer to Spiderman's aunt & uncle
Required to step on a copy of Harry Potter when entering or exiting a public pool or bathing area
If you're found misgendering someone, you will be forced for one hour (of posting time only counting time spent writing posts and not browsing) per misgendering to post as if you were a German programmer, options are Anders from Dortmund or Annika from Düsseldorf. "As a honky, I think" will preface every post of yours during this time.

Robert boosted
Robert boosted

God, creating the green anole: what if there was a green bean that could bite you and stare disapprovingly at whatever you did? I think that sounds pretty great

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the problem with the rush meme is that there are maybe 30 seconds of bass solo in the entire rush discography, unless you want to argue that geddy lee's bass playing style constitutes a 24/7 bass solo

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Robert boosted

This is the plot of at least half of all the JRPGs I've seen over the past 20 years

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A mystic deep in prayer: "God, my soul desires only with conversation with thee..."
The voice of God, as though all of creation were speaking as one: "Fear not, nor give into astonishment, for I here am with thee also, and [suddenly there's the sound of breaking glass] what the--? How'd you get in here?"
Mystic, confused: "God? Hello?"
God: "You! But how did you find me? No... stay back!" [sounds of a struggle]

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Mystic: "God? Hello? Hello???"
[several gunshots]
God, panting, obviously exhausted: "That bought me a few minutes at least. I have to call you back."
Mystic: "God wait!"
[A click and a dial tone]

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Bookposting 

I often don't do well with livetooting my way through books because I get too engrossed but I should really do a monthly summary. This month I'm going to be close to a book every two days. See if I can get another couple in over the next few days and I'll do a thread

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Bookposting 

I have been on an absolutely unreal pace these past few days, mainly because I borrowed a few, then stuff I had holds on came up, and then the app started nagging me that people were waiting on me. Yesterday I finished a big one that I'd been working on for a while, then read two ENTIRE novels (both only about 200-250 pages, but still!), and got deep enough into the next one that I finished it today.

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it's a real John Henry Versus situation here between the roomba and my toddler, to see who can eat the most cat hair

Robert boosted
Robert boosted

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THURSDAY
THURSDAY
THURSDAY

Thursday, September 29, 2022 @ 9pm US Central Time (2AM UTC)

#mastoween continues with John Carpenter's The Thing

it's on archive.org which is free and ad free. watch along and live toot it with us!

Robert boosted

Pls boost for visibility

Are you optimistic about the future of your country?

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LICENSE PLATE: I ♡ HONK3
CUSTOMER: I LOVE HONKIES
DMV: WE ALSO LOVE HONKIES
STATUS: APPROVED

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@radicalrobit 'and another thing - i am not 'on the run'. please don't put in the newspaper that i am on the run'

Bookposting 

It isn't belabored so I don't think it's a primary preoccupation for him, at least. That's about the nicest I can be about it. But other than the awful politics it's kind of a snappy soy-banter style, like Scalzi.

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Bookposting 

Burned through that sucker quick, because it was incredibly easy to read but I wasn't enjoying it much so I wanted to get it over with as fast as possible. Unfortunately I now have a sense of who Andy Weir is, and that sense is "libertarian John Scalzi." It isn't a full on polemic like The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, but he does take several gratuitous anti-union shots, and it has the most important tell for libertarianism: on the Moon, there is no age of consent. I wish I was joking

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Bookposting 

Now remembering that I saw something recently about the possibility that the Martian is canonical to the Expanse series because there's an MCRN ship named the Mark Watney, where I just took it as that the book The Martian also existed for them. I think there was an MCRN John Carter at one point too

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.