mastodon tips to new users 

— remember to take a look at users' bios before following. some ask you not follow unless you've interacted with you before, some appreciate an introductory dm, others do not want to be dm'd by people they don't know, etc
— it's considered good form to cw contentious topics, such as ikea furniture or italians
— the person your mum or aunt is suddenly making long phonecalls to is probably flowless. don't worry about it
— try not to freak out about the giant centipedes. they're mostly harmless
— sometimes during new moon, a green man with three arms will knock on your door and ask for your first-born child. this is der gründreiarmigmann, a german goblin eugen made a deal with early in mastodon's development. just hand him a rock or a seed wrapped in cloth instead

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mastodon tips to new users 

@esvrld please do not spread misinformation about the Texas red-headed centipedes, they are confrontational and will enter homes

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.