here are all the true facts I know about the US:

- Portland is a city that exists simultaneously at three different locations, but you never know where

- There's no cities in Texas, it's just Texas.

- California, especially the golden gate bridge, is constantly being destroyed by aliens or monsters or Magneto.

- the US has it's own moon and its fake

- George Washington cut down a cherry tree once and that's why Washington D.C stands for Washington District of Cherries

- the heartland is full of violent groups of armed horses on motor bikes

- there is one man in Florida, he is unstoppable.