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Nothing screams “lone wolf” louder than taking a quiz in bizarro world Cosmo about being a lone wolf.

Chaser. Why are these people obsessed with capital J Jail? I think it’s because it’s the only place where their imagined hierarchy of toughness actually exists.

@sweetmercury yeah, I suspect that jail in their mind some sort of primal ancient alpha male (which never existed) place where the meanest toughest SOB rules over the weak like nature intended (in their minds obviously)

@sweetmercury “HOW TO DUMP YOUR PSYCHO GIRLFRIEND BEFORE SHE KILLS YOU”

...

“The assassin’s closet”

@sweetmercury “How to drop your magazine subscription before our tonal whiplash kills you”

@sweetmercury

imagine being so sheltered that jail is the scariest thing you can think of that needs 'surviving'

@sweetmercury this is like Soldier of Fortune but without the South African apartheid money to prop it up

@sweetmercury six ways to die in north korea:
(1) fall from a high place
(2) fall into the sea
(3) get gored by a rhinoceros
(4)

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.