Tying my balls back in a messy bun and just lying around the house doing nothing.

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that jd power was a bad dude and his associates were a bunch of bad boys

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who is jd power and who are their associates

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stone warm steve austin in an apron and kitchen mittens about to take some cookies out the oven

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no one man should have all that sour (cream and onion pringles)

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Badly need help Show more

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All my best posts come from me having diarrhea on the toilet after eating ice cream

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slapping my balls down on the table in a poker game as self care

*after being asked by Netflix if I’m still watching for the 5th time today*

“Anyone who contributes anything to society is a fuckin cop”

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*Country music voice* “My ex wife took my left ball in the divorce, but I kept the truck”

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did you know that the horse from old town road was a metaphor for heroin addiction

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we grind to have a house that looks and smells like shit. we work all day and night to keep the dishes in the fucking sink and some pet hair on the hardwood floor. you know you wanna sleep on our couch with no blanket and a shitty square pillow

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Biden will do a speech that's just him repeating variations on the phrase "God, remember when you could smoke on TV?" for twenty televised minutes while his aides frantically try and turn his pacemaker off so he'll pass out and stop talking

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.