I’m hearing some 4th wave Ska pioneers and getting excited but I realized that once it all hits it’s going to be Ska plus Mumble Rap or something and I’m going to be an Old Man about it

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Movie pitch: A man bumps his head and wakes up in a world where nobody knows who Eminem is. Sadly, this man only knows the first few lyrics of "Lose Yourself," so he uses his knowledge to make four hundred dollars selling advertising copy about "mom's spaghetti"

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Chinese workers are holding CEOs hostage for threatening to close factories, and the Chinese government is fine with it. Now the bougies are scared :drake_like:

forbes.com/sites/mitchfree/201

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If a guy is intimidated by a girl being taller than him he should just wear heels
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@BDA @CyclopsCaveman walking into the castro with my leather briefcase filled with divorcedad books and hollering in the starbucks until someone calls the cops, who side with me and give me a ride home because my feeties hurt uwu

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my master plan:
copy and paste the same comment as a reply to people’s posts, and make sure it’s a group of people that couldn’t give less of a shit about my message
when that account gets banned, just keep making more accounts
if they won’t listen, call them slurs and insult them, still ignoring the fact that they probably couldn’t give less of a shit about my message in the first place
by: dipshit

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thinking about caulking my ass crack and planing it off so i can have one incredibly large buttcheek. might make it a stretch goal

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look if you're from new orleans and this song comes on, you're legally obligated to back that azz up away from the "next song" button

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mason boosted

okay, the last time i used charcoal i was a child so how better to practice than doing a portrait study of michael sheen 💕 (eye contact)

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to live in the countryside is to stand in righteous arrogance of technological development. it is profane and can not be abided by

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day 3 at my cousin's house: i am overwhelmed both by the manner in which my relatives raise their children as well as the near constant reek of methane. living in the countryside is a form of intentional and prolonged torture

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*on tour with the person who predicted sikh male headwear*

here I am
on the road again
here I am
up on the stage
here I go
playin star again
there I go
turban sage

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Hey my name’s Jared I’m 19 and I never learned how to do my laundry cook basic meals finish any task in a timely manner clean up after myself get the mail before the box is stuffed full of mail love myself or have emotional maturity or how to read

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mason boosted

mac donald: "look we made a frog burger just for you... please retweet......"
me: "are the fries also frog themed?"
mac donald: "no that's impossible, please..... potatos can't take that kind of shape......"
me: "you are nothing to me."

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offering up my seat on the train to the brave apps that keep our city running

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mason boosted

two wolves, vore Show more

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.