I’m learning Swift and am going to use that knowledge (once it is at a level high enough) to program a Taylor Swift song as a joke.

Unless that has been done before…

If you enjoy Harry Nilsson’s Coconut then you are a sociopath.

Some might argue that a person who enjoys the song might have been teen in the ‘70s.

This means they’re boomers, which means they are sociopaths.

I think I’m back on that other site and I am ashamed of myself.

You see a salad dressing but I see a sandwich condiment.

Dr: Your triglycerides are a little high. You should cut down on carbs
Me: A *little* high?
Dr: Yes, just a little.
Me: And I *should* cut down on carbs?
Dr: Yes.
Me: Okay, I’ll deal with that when it’s an actual problem.

I stole Cecil’s spot and he smiled at me. He is the best boy.

I’ve listen to some songs by The Beach Boys and I think I understand why boomers are sociopaths.

Super excited to start NaNoWriMo! I’m a little late to start but I know I can do it!

Waiting for a dog to show up so I can take her to a rescue. She’s extremely pregnant so I hope that isn’t why she hasn’t show up.

There’s no need for more domesticated animals in this world.

Nerds: what is that iOS quote keeping app all you nerds love?

Please include an AppStore link.

My new character is just a person that overly sexualizes funny things.

“Mm. Oh my fucking god. That wasn’t a dad joke. That was a daddy joke. Tell it again and then maybe try to give me a knock-knock.”

Prediction: Elon Musk will die in less than five years from doing some stupid stunt to prove how cool he is.

My guess is a nollie.

Manafort: Can I be honest with you guys?
FBI: You have to be.
Manafort: I have a very large and operational penis that I use with *very* willing women
[sound of cuffs and vomiting]

All Work and No Play
Toffer D. Brutechild
November 2018

It’s hard to be a butt model
You workout round the clock
Selling detoxes is not a doddle
All while boys touch their cocks

Instagram twerkin’
Is how I’m working

Youth doesn’t last
But I work hard for this ass

It’s hard to be a butt model
People call you a thot
For showing off your caudal
But, the tea is a thing you bought

Instagram is work
Instagram is the worst

Call me a stunning beauty
I’ll heart it, but you won’t get booty

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.