Mx Toffer D. Brutechild HSD-SL @toffer@jorts.horse

I’m having a case of my emotions spiraling out of control, but I don’t have the energy to grab my anxiety meds which I wouldn’t even have to walk to get.

You make me feel unneeded and unwanted. All the time. You tell me about how others are so nice and such for doing thing. I just want recognition. Ugh. Fucking kill me.

They just fucking did it again. I was explaining something and they asked me how I felt and as soon as I started explaining they said not to make it about me. Jesus fucking Christ this makes me want to die. They make me want to die so much. So fucking much. I’ve hurt them plenty. They’ve hurt me. I’m so fucking stupid. Such a fucking stupid piece of fucking shit. God fucking dammit I fucking hate myself.

I’m in pain and can’t confront the person who put me in pain because they’re in pain and I want them in my life. I fucking hate myself. I do this all the time. They say I try to put my feelings before theirs even though they are the cause of the pain anytime they say that.

I want to slit my throat open and see if I can peel my face off like a mask before I die.

Update: I’m in a poly relationship now. So…
https://www.gotinder.com/@itstoffer

There was a shooting at a *garlic festival?*

Fucking really?

Https://www.theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-r-1819576527

Him: Some people call me a hero.
Me: Why?
Him: I’m a vet.
Me: a veterinarian?
Him: No, I was a soldier!
Me: Weird. Why do they call you a hero then?

I’m tired and at a vet.

I want to slit my god damn throat.

I’m having issues feeling loved. I don’t feel in the top 12 let alone 1.

Judge my tinder bio:

Poly. Leftist. Art enjoyer. Writer. Looking for someone witty, clever, and that is into guys that are roughly 5’11”. I do animal rescue — which lets you know I have dogs, cats, and the ability to pull a string at the right time. This is where a joke should go, but there isn’t. Sorry to disappoint. You could message me, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get a joke.

Dating apps are weird and I don’t like them.

I’ve had a stuff bear before I was born, Radar. He was my first toy and only toy for more than normal.

It was agreed that my mother would get Radar after I died which is the most involved she every got in my behavioral health issues.

I took him with me the last time I went to the beach to buy a shotgun, plastic wrap, aluminum foil, a plastic cup, a tarp and heavy bits.

I cherished Radar.

My first confidant.

I don’t want to go to the hardware store.

Trying out a new app. Maybe the notifications will fucking work on this one.

Hi. I miss posting here. How is everyone?

Life.