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me and my husband Geoff are queering heterosexuality by rebranding our marriage as a "bicule"

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watching russian doll last night reminded me of my weirdest carnival story

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boys please don't explain things to me i already know exactly as much as i can stand to know

@burgin @larrydavis please don't try to go epic. bawls is a really great beverage

selfie time, better believe there's eye contact Show more

you should tell me that i'm funny and also very fit

okay it's more of a full-service cafe than a coffee shop but i am getting a . also i have made a slight lie of omission, this is a tabletop gamer joint not a video gamer joint, i would never hang out at like an xbox cafe

i'm either going to have a normal time or someone's going to ask to buy my panties

about to go to the coffee shop wish me luck

i slapped my ass and it wont stop jiggling, the frequency seems to be increasing, my ass is producing a 50hz hum rn

@laser @larrydavis @burgin @evan I've been playing Animal Crossing for the last ten minutes and I came back to cursed mentions

uspol Show more

Joe Biden is just Pierce Hawthorne from community and also Chevy chase on the set of community

@taweret please, Mr. Pebbles was my father's name. Call me fruity.

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.