Pinned toot

me and my husband Geoff are queering heterosexuality by rebranding our marriage as a "bicule"

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watching russian doll last night reminded me of my weirdest carnival story

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boys please don't explain things to me i already know exactly as much as i can stand to know

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here's the video i came out with on fb/insta/twitter lol (selfie, eye contact, video)

Cool (selfie, no ec, boosts+) Show more

twitter Show more

twitter Show more

Every toot ever created is just a variation on one of the 7 Basic Toot archetypes

Giddy at the news the Krassensteins were big into Ouya. It's too perfect.

listen up, gumshoes! Carmen Sandiego has stolen the search bar!

trans joke about welsh, this is for like two or three people tops Show more

i can't explain exactly why yet but something happened today that just further proves seattle is the transfem homeland lmao. it's nice being unremarkable sometimes

an instance only for people i flirt with on here. we all log into our specialized flirting accounts and put in work, then we clock out and tell jokes on the normal ones

selfie, only open if you have done something to make me dissappointed in you Show more

@pbandkate Going to orientation for roller derby soon and then I'm gonna probably go full tilt into slamming my meat mech against other meat mechs in an arena of wheels

even worse, please don't read, cognitohazard Show more

Boomers: cribbage on line
Gen X: Craisglist swinger section gone?
Millienials: brewery [hometown] directions
Zoomer: elsa fart spiderman minecraft youtube

don't open nor read Show more

i was thinking to myself "i wonder how my old friend dirt is doing?" so i typed dirt into the search bar, except i typed it wrong and now i'm cackling

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.