Alright time to do some toots... uh phone weasel but also slime

My brand is pretending to like vi because it's funny online while also actually really liking vi

Goddam, this is the front page of Jeff Foxworthy’s website. Too real, Jeff, that’s not even a joke.

Seriously though, you should listen to this song, it's hilariously bad. The only good thing I have to say about this album is that most of the songs are better than this, but also much more boring

imagine all the dragons
it isnt hard to do

So the new Imagine Dragons is pretty good and I probably deserve to be canceled for that take.

They made like 10 songs that sound exactly like Imagine Dragons songs and 2 where they fucked it all up hilariously badly. I

I am on my dream date. Everything is perfect. And then she says, “Wanna come back to my place and listen to some Mumford & Sons?”
“I can’t. I’m moving to Tibet.”

romantic couples selfie, eye contact Show more

lewdish, jojo, fanart Show more

most would merely recognise that turban sage sounds like turn the page and leave it at that, not me

Also any safety video that is longer than 5 minutes can eat my entire asshole

I'm surprised that the safety video at this plant wasn't on VHS. It seems to have been made in the late 80s based on their clothes and then IBM Model M on a desk

stankied my leg too hard. doctors say they're gonna have to amputate

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Horses can wear jorts too. [[THIS IS ETERNALLY A WORK IN PROGRESS]]