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@ancient_catbus PLEASE ENJOY THIS CERTIFIED HOOD CLASSIC

IT WILL TAKE ME ONE THOUSAND YEARS TO UPLOAD ON MY SHITTY WEBSITE

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BuzzFeed's Top Ten Tips for Honking Off in a Crowded Arby's™ Without Getting Caught by the Fukcing Cops

Well HOT DAMN folks it's that time of year again and I know you're all gathering the family and heading down to the local Arby's™ but before you go, take a gander at this Hot Tips gathered by local experts:

1) Don't forget the sunscreen!
[ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ...]

:promoted: Promoted

yes im a millenial and these are my children Adynn, Maylee and Darude_Sandstorm(96kbps)_.MPEG-1

the entity known as Carl wants to know your location.
the entity known as Carl wants to know your location.
the entity known as Carl wants to know your location.
the entity known as Carl wants to know your location.
the entity known as Carl wants to know your location.
the entity known as Carl wants to know your location.
the entity known as Carl wants to know your location.
the entity known as Carl wants to know your location.
the entity known as Carl wants to know your location.

i created this masterpiece making fun of a cryptobro on twitter please enjoy it with my blessings

important, the future of jorts.horse and the fediverse, serious 

:piss::sm64_p::sm64_e::sm64_e: :sm64_p::sm64_e::sm64_e::piss:
:poos::sm64_p::sm64_o::sm64_o: :sm64_p::sm64_o::sm64_o::poos:

smug software dev getting owned so hard by a 16 year old enby that they turned their entire project into a smoking crater is just about the funniest ffxiv drama i've ever seen

here i sit,
brokenhearted.

shidding, pissing,
cumming, farding.

[looking at an unfinished task]
ugh, i promised i was gonna do this today.... however, luckily, i only promised it to myself and never said anything aloud, and i've got a lifetime of experience breaking those

@killeveryhetero government mandated bedtime: that's fascism
job mandated bedtime: that's patriotism

@killeveryhetero 8 hours for REST
8 hours for WHAT WE WILL
8 hours for STAYS UP LATE, DRINKING COFFEE AND PLAYING WITH HER PHONE IN BED

@killeveryhetero
in conclusion: the company would be more productive if they let Amy have a three-hour siesta every day to recharge after lunch

amy's got some hot girl vibes tho for real, laying in bed just chugging coffee while doomscrolling that's based as hell

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i'm only a couple of episodes in and i don't actually want anyone to give me the answer in advance, but --

if gundam witch from mercury is queerbaiting me i'm going to scream incoherently about it for years

generations of youths will hear my screeching, for decades, and roll their eyes like "there goes granny, screaming about mecha robots or some shit again, what an absolute loser" and i will merely hiss and snarl at them in response

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.