Zoey - Arby's™ Ambassador 🥡 @killeveryhetero@jorts.horse

BuzzFeed's Top Ten Tips for Honking Off in a Crowded Arby's™ Without Getting Caught by the Fukcing Cops

Well HOT DAMN folks it's that time of year again and I know you're all gathering the family and heading down to the local Arby's™ but before you go, take a gander at this Hot Tips gathered by local experts:

1) Don't forget the sunscreen!
[ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ...]

Promoted

me every tuesday

my company told everyone to work from home because of boomerflu and american flag belt dipshit coworker is proudly working from the office and making smug comments in email chains about how he's the only one to go into the office this week

no one is discussing the horse incident

i dunno if i just missed the discussion or if he quietly put it away, the only thing they're hollering about is the Boomer Flu

i am disappoint

it's fine, it's fine -- i've spent the time making a rough draft of the next page, feel free to spoiler yourself by taking a look, or leave the media hidden so things are still fresh when it happens!!

there's no fucking way THIS one won't trigger at least a heated debate though

BACK AT MY DESK AND LISTENING INTENTLY

THE PAYLOAD IS MIA

i'm sorry but i'm gonna miss his initial reaction to it because i'm leaving for lunch early to avoid suspicion (had a very narrow window to get this up)

🚨 YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 🚨

and i cannot stress this enough,

🚨 HAAAWWWWWWWW 🚨

TARGET SPOTTED

I REPEAT, TARGET SPOTTED

#OPERATIONHORSEDAY IS BACK IN ACTION, FOLKS

PLEASE STAND BY

👀
👀
👀

positioning my character on the largest possible mounts directly in front of where i know @dubsteppenwolf 's camera is while she's doing shit is my passion

This message was sent with High importance.

it isn't even true lmao

i don't think he noticed my email signature change which is a damned shame cuz that was 90% of the joke but i'll take the victory nonetheless

my dad has been spouting nonsense about "the thing that will finally sink bernie!" in arguments for weeks as Bernie supporting the ayatollah of Iran in 1979

this time at lunch with him & a work friend I finally stopped replying my usual "nobody actually cares dude" and WELLLLL.....

yo whatup we back from vacation

gonna see about fixing some of jorts' missing customizations this weekend probly

BEHOLD: MY HAIR

also, and pay attention to this you smarmy fucks who keep repeatedly reporting my users to me for this, I AM EXPLICITLY SOLICITING BOOSTS FOR THIS SELFIE. BOOST THIS SELFIE. if reading those lines made your blood boil, get some help

()

pete butt guy send toot

@Glinner SUCKONDEEZ NIPS YA FUCKIN TERF LOL

ah goddamnit i wanted to bofa him but i probly missed the chance, guess he's been here a few months already and has already fucked off mostly

blocked

@Glinner hello Mr lineham Sir, HUGE fan, i was just wondering now that you've joined *the fediverse* if you've properly acquainted yourself with the largely accepted Kondee Accord?