manic pixie fever dream @killeveryhetero@jorts.horse

BuzzFeed's Top Ten Tips for Honking Off in a Crowded Arby's™ Without Getting Caught by the Fukcing Cops

Well HOT DAMN folks it's that time of year again and I know you're all gathering the family and heading down to the local Arby's™ but before you go, take a gander at this Hot Tips gathered by local experts:

1) Don't forget the sunscreen!
[ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ...]

Promoted

it's just me and the groveling reporter here, now, chained to what's left of the wall and writing articles about how lively things are around here

"hamburgers!!"

"please ma'am.... i've done what you want... just... let my family go... let them return to twitter, where it's safe...!"

i turn, bones creaking and popping at impossible angles, staring into his eyes through my mess of matted hair with a gaze like burning embers.

in a growling, inhuman voice, i hurl my words at him:

"C̸͏̧̨̛Ó̵͝͞V̷̵͜͜F̀͘E̵̡F̡̢E̕͏̷."

hooting and hollering about hamberders from atop the ruins of my crumbling empire

slimy frogs

dont

ROUND TWO

white boys be drinking mayonnaise milkshakes up in here

pee pee poo poo

dude weed lmao ​​​

it's bullshit that the .et TLD costs hundreds of dollars

i could be shitposting at you all from ye.et right now

if i were a dog i would simply bork

think i'll have a nice hamberder for lunch