attractive nuisance @killeveryhetero@jorts.horse

@ancient_catbus PLEASE ENJOY THIS CERTIFIED HOOD CLASSIC

IT WILL TAKE ME ONE THOUSAND YEARS TO UPLOAD ON MY SHITTY WEBSITE

BuzzFeed's Top Ten Tips for Honking Off in a Crowded Arby's™ Without Getting Caught by the Fukcing Cops

Well HOT DAMN folks it's that time of year again and I know you're all gathering the family and heading down to the local Arby's™ but before you go, take a gander at this Hot Tips gathered by local experts:

1) Don't forget the sunscreen!
[ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ...]

Promoted

fuck im high

i forget how fedi culture works cuz i Never Post anymore but y'all can boost the selfies or whatever i don't give a shit

okay a random woman just put a leather "kinky slut" collar on me i guess i fit in now ahahahaha

feeling like i might have misunderstood the assignment a bit here cuz everyone else but us is wearing like ... fetish gear ... but it's fine lmao

goth night fit check

owned

and now back to your regularly scheduled barely working website -- this has been our yearly scheduled outage due to me being a disastrously uncoordinated fuckup that forgets to renew the domain name every. single. year. happy jortsmas everybody!!

glitch.soc's latest release is from 2017? that doesn't seem right. let me see...

oh. they're using "packages" instead of releases now. okay, sure, what's a github package?

oh. oh, no. oh no no no no no. not this. anything but this. NO.

​​​​​​​

oh, for those with no prior knowledge of hometown and glitch.soc:

hometown: https://github.com/hometown-fork/hometown
glitch.soc: https://glitch-soc.github.io/docs/

so let's get on with step one! but vanilla masto... stinky. oof. no thank you

so, here's a poll! from talking to folks a while back, hometown and glitch.soc seemed like the best fits -- they give us more features, they don't look like stinky modern masto, and they both include the ability to do local-only posting, something i think we all want

i do not promise to abide by the results of this poll, but make your thoughts known here!

so i figure...

step one: update jorts
step two: declare the problem solved and ignore it for another month
step three: admit the problem is not solved, ignore it for another few weeks
step four: move us to another webserver or whatever the fuck needs to be done to fix this shit

so!

to be blunt, i don't think updating will fix the problem

i think the problem is that linode is now a pile of horseshit for some reason, probably because they got bought

this diagnosis is brought to you by: vibes

but i'm not going to migrate us onto another webserver or anything like that while we're still running cryptkeeper ass cobwebbed shitcode limping along

and i'm *certainly* not gonna do both of these things at once, because i am lazy

hey lets just say it: jorts runs like dogshit nowadays, and any of the minor tweaks i've tried to do to fix it have done absolutely nothing

it's my own website, and even i can't get it to load on my phone at all anymore

so, the thing i've been putting off for weeks now (and don't get me wrong ... i will probably put off for a couple more weeks after this post! that's BRAND CONSISTENCY, baby!) is upon us

we need to update

oh no!!! @blip

did somebody buy linode