Pinned toot

BuzzFeed's Top Ten Tips for Honking Off in a Crowded Arby's™ Without Getting Caught by the Fukcing Cops

Well HOT DAMN folks it's that time of year again and I know you're all gathering the family and heading down to the local Arby's™ but before you go, take a gander at this Hot Tips gathered by local experts:

1) Don't forget the sunscreen!
[ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ...]

:promoted: Promoted

@kevinwhipwrecked wait so maybe there's a whole neoliberalverse involved here, and nate silver uses 538 as in its how many copies of peter daou's house music was sold, primarily to friends and family?

it's just me and the groveling reporter here, now, chained to what's left of the wall and writing articles about how lively things are around here

"hamburgers!!"

"please ma'am.... i've done what you want... just... let my family go... let them return to twitter, where it's safe...!"

i turn, bones creaking and popping at impossible angles, staring into his eyes through my mess of matted hair with a gaze like burning embers.

in a growling, inhuman voice, i hurl my words at him:

"C̸͏̧̨̛Ó̵͝͞V̷̵͜͜F̀͘E̵̡F̡̢E̕͏̷."

hooting and hollering about hamberders from atop the ruins of my crumbling empire

ugh fine mom whatever im sorry i called you an ignorant tool of the bourgeoisie can i have my xbox back

[you hear the faint sound of machinery powering down as los_ingobernables' login is temporarily disabled]

rest well, king 😔

white boys be drinking mayonnaise milkshakes up in here

𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦,
𝙄𝙏 𝙋𝙐𝙎𝙃 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝘼𝘾𝙆𝙒𝘼𝙍𝘿.

𝑺𝑬𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑺𝑷𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑪𝑼𝑪𝑲...

it's bullshit that the .et TLD costs hundreds of dollars

i could be shitposting at you all from ye.et right now

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.