Pinned toot

BuzzFeed's Top Ten Tips for Honking Off in a Crowded Arby's™ Without Getting Caught by the Fukcing Cops

Well HOT DAMN folks it's that time of year again and I know you're all gathering the family and heading down to the local Arby's™ but before you go, take a gander at this Hot Tips gathered by local experts:

1) Don't forget the sunscreen!
[ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ...]

:promoted: Promoted

Pinned toot

:jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse:

reminder that while jorts.horse is not currently open for signups, you can simply ask myself, @jizzwitch, or @dubsteppenwolf for an invite code!! i'll open it up to general signups later, maybe, when I've finished more stuff.

:jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse: :jhorse:

my new brand is aggressively replying "You're welcome!!" any time anyone says "thanks" in any context in corporate emails

pwease maam...... may i have some coochie

*extremely 007 voice* The name's Shadow. Shadow... the Hedgehog.

*ladies swoon as I slam dunk myself down the trash chute*

(selfie boosts continue to always be okay)

feet Show more

@c8rz @killeveryhetero it didn't start that way! I just rebranded as a slime monster or something, it had nothing to do with sex, and then I became single and got drunk and it was all downhill from there

also yes y'all can boost my feet if you feel so inclined

all boosts are good and valid, if i ever don't want a post boosted i'll restrict boosts on the post!

we laggin' my dudes

both CPUs are sittin at 100% for some reason and the home timeline seems to be about 3 minutes delayed

this is odd cuz we haven't gone above 60% total CPU usage in a while (120% combined), but I'll keep an eye on it and possible do a quick reboot if necessary

maybe if I continue to only post my selfies in the morning, during the scant few hours where the Anti-Hornt Brigade reigns supreme, folks won't be disappointed in me, for never ever posting slime lewds,,

feet Show more

maybe if I continue to only post my selfies in the morning, during the scant few hours where the Anti-Hornt Brigade reigns supreme, folks won't be disappointed in me, for never ever posting slime lewds,,

*extremely 007 voice* The name's Shadow. Shadow... the Hedgehog.

*ladies swoon as I slam dunk myself down the trash chute*

(selfie boosts continue to always be okay)

hot damn I think I like my new hair even better in a ponytail

(selfie boosts are always okay)

The thing about logging off is you dont have to do it.

🎶 doctor doctor, give me the nudes,,

i got a, bad case, of loving lewds, 🎶

jelfie (jeans selfie) Show more

american flag belt co-worker just accidentally blasted either rush limbaugh or alex jones for 5 seconds when he took his headphones off just now (they sound similar)

sssiiiiiiiigh

here's his stupid belt, taken in stealth, enjoy,

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jorts.horse

Horses can wear jorts too. [[THIS IS ETERNALLY A WORK IN PROGRESS]]