Pinned toot

BuzzFeed's Top Ten Tips for Honking Off in a Crowded Arby's™ Without Getting Caught by the Fukcing Cops

Well HOT DAMN folks it's that time of year again and I know you're all gathering the family and heading down to the local Arby's™ but before you go, take a gander at this Hot Tips gathered by local experts:

1) Don't forget the sunscreen!
[ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ...]

:promoted: Promoted

LOCKDOWN EXTENDED FOR AN ADDITIONAL 7 DAYS, AS THE TARGET IS RETREATING FOR SOME SORT OF ARCANE RITUAL INVOLVING LARGE DOMESTIC BIRDS

PHASE FOUR OPERATIONAL ACTIVITIES REPLANNED FOR DECEMBER 3RD

someone left a "motivational stress ball" on my desk

i have chosen to improve its design,

@citrustwee when we get closer to dec 25 you should change your display name to CHRISTMAS EVE

LOL GET IT

BEHOLD: IT IS I, THE WINTER LESBIAB

retoot to bless the timeline with foggy breaths and hot chocolate

(:ec:)

POWERING DOWN HORSEDAY.EXE TO BASELINE, ESSENTIAL FUNCTIONALITIES FOR THE NEXT 14 DAYS IN PREPARATION FOR PHASE 4

LOCKDOWN: INITIATED

HE HAS CONFIRMED THE TIME-LAPSE FUNCTIONALITY ON HIS IPAD

TARGET'S SURVEILLANCE CAPABILITIES: ACKNOWLEDGED

HORSEDAY OPERATIONAL SECURITY CONCERNS: NEGLIGIBLE

YOU CAN'T KEEP A GOOD HORSE DOWN, BITCH 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

i've had a lot of long-running threads but this has got to be my favorite so far, by far,

guess i gotta keep my eyes open for his fuckin ipad spying on me

he seems to have realized that i'm always doing this during his 9AM tuesday meeting, but that's just been because of convenience -- he'll probly set up surveillance during that meeting going forward

THE JOKE'S ON YOU BUD

I'LL JUST DO IT DURING LUNCH

"someone just keeps comin in early i guess heh heh"

"no!! no that's the thing! I've been here, it's not there in the morning but then as soon as I go into my 9 o clock meeting someone's coming around and gettin me. i keep getting horsed."

"but what's the reference? this seems like a reference?"

"i don't know!!!! guess what day it is? it's tuesday!"

"guess what day it is I mean it's horses I don't get it, they keep putting it up when I go in my meeting at 9 o clock..."

"wait this one too?"

"yeah this one too same thing... guess what day it is, what day is it???"

"you got an old phone or something? set it up filming?"

"yeah i got this old iPad, I've got it set up on timelapse right now just to see how long it'll keep going before it cuts out..."

"you can't use that, they'll see it sitting there, they'll know it's filming them"

lmfao he's laid everything out on the cube divider like a crime scene and keeps staring at it thoughtfully every few minutes like he's on the verge of cracking this case

"what's with the horses! i got horsed!!! look at this!"

"maybe it was Bob..."

"no, no, he wouldn't. and look at this! all these clips!"

"why horses?"

"i dunno! hey zoey, anyone come past my desk while i was in that meeting?"

>>"yeah that guy in the corner that was sitting in bossman's cube, but idk who that even is"

"damnit... who is doing this?? it's gotta be brian, gotta be."

"page 2 of two?"

"same person that did this, obviously. i don't get it! nice clips though."

damnit he got them both, i was hoping he'd miss page 2 of two

i'm not turning around cuz it'll give me away BUT I CAN HEAR HIM REMOVING THE MANY CLIPS I USED

HE KNOWS

HE

KNOWS

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.