Bonus Eruptus @Bonus_Eruptus@jorts.horse

Even though I knew my result a while ago the official letter just came in and I got excited again

Look upon my large son and weep at his glorious visage

Hunter Biden was caught doing Crack Cocaine in a strip club. Under the Crack-Powder Coke disparity HIS FATHER crafted to target Black folks he’d have gotten minimum 5 years in prison. Instead he got to be the face of “Addiction as a Health Crisis” and everyone else got terrorist level sentencing.

Spending my morning watching old GBBO episodes and drawing Mary Berrys

fuck "successful" posts, all I'm asking on any of these is six boosts and nine favs

PSA: I'm over 30, so you should hit on me before my bones turn to dust

‪getting dommed by having my girlfriend install internet monitoring software that refuses to load any webpage with a boob or a swear on it ‬

@ItsJenNotGabby

I painted a watercolor baby Yoda so now I can just look fondly on it with joy

i ate dinner next to Alan Dershowitz and i nearly threw broccoli rabe at him without knowing who he was because what he was saying was so vile. Also before he left some dude came up and thanked him for his service. fuck america

Just ate an edible so Im gonna tell The Finger Guns Story™ before it kicks in because I promised @pig I would.

me, terrible at pickup lines: hey, that lipstick looks great on you. it'd look even better on the floor

get in nerd we're gonna go sniff butts

Same energy

Guys can’t accept that penises are feminine because it would crush them if the part of their body that gave them sexual pleasure made much more sense on a woman. And straight women can’t accept it because they’re lesbophobic.

playing a dick like a harmonica and harmonica sounds come out

Who the heck called it “bottom surgery” and not 360 no scrote

"Yass, Australia" has a mcdonalds

Ive had some