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Here's your periodic reminder that it's probably been too long since you last washed your makeup brushes

cc @mxsiege

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Hey, it's SuperBowl weekend, so here's your perennial reminder that SuperBowl Champion Peyton Manning sexually assaulted a female athletic trainer, tried to blame it on a black teammate, then went on to break his own NDA about the situation TWICE to ruin her career. America's Sheriff in-fucking-deed

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@snakeboy 🎶youre an adult, you're allowed to make your own bad decisions🎶

i wasn't meaning to find this meme but i found it and i feel that its true habitat is here on mastodon

i taught a neural net to make esvrld posts and here's what it came up with

People with “health anxiety” around HIV aren’t interested in reducing their anxiety through education. They use it as an excuse to avoid addressing their perpetuation of HIV-related stigma.

I asked this last night but I just want to make sure:

Do I know anyone at Substack?

Hello, who wants to take my stats test for me today?

where the hell is my post that's like "my cologne? thanks, it's bussy"

the reasons these french people have stated for breaking quarantine are excessively French lmfao

Drug implied 

every single story doesnt have TWO EQUAL SIDES BB FUCKING C after a new cancer treatment is announced you dont look through your Rolodex for a pro tumour group so why do it with everything else

Thank you to @jackdaw_ruiz for being the only heathen on this hellish webbed sight to appreciate my varied and high brow humor

negging silicon valley codebros by telling them it's okay that not everyone can be a real engineer

The bottom line is that in America, Christian theocrats are many orders of magnitude more of a threat to you than even the staunchest of homophobic Muslims, and rest assured that it will stay that way so long as Christian theocrats have any say in the matter. You swallowing propaganda about Islam is such thinly-veiled nationalist rhetoric that even if I give you the benefit of the doubt that you are just regurgitating a line, it's a red flag for sure. Learn to prioritize the actual threats to you.

food with pic, bad pun 

Praxis can be complicated but we're really in a "protests will continue until conditions improve" type of moment.

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.