☭JD☭ boosted
☭JD☭ boosted

bro you WISH you could get laid 69420 times like me

Oh we need to go find another planet to live on or nuke the sun or something because we just don't understand how to build a generator that doesn't run on coal or oil

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I love when scifi movies have a premise involving the earth being on the brink of collapse because of an energy crisis. as if the problem with sustainable energy is that its too complicated for us, we just can't figure out how to do it.

Henry? Henry it's your cousin, Barry Kissinger! You know that new bombing campaign you've been looking for? Well listen to This!!

☭JD☭ boosted

Pluto's classification as a dwarf planet somehow making it no longer a real planet says some fucked up things about how those scientists view dwarfism.

Can't wait for yeezys new kohls exclusive line

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☭JD☭ boosted

👏We👏need👏more👏cartoon👏characters👏 who👏have👏depression👏

🎶Mr pito flattener🎶
🎶 Flatten me a pito🎶
🎶Make it the flattest you've ever seen 🎶

I wish I could search posts so I can find the time I tooted about mr salt from blues clues getting cucked by mrs pepper

☭JD☭ boosted
☭JD☭ boosted

this helps the foreskin peel off easier when preparing for cooking

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I can only assume that the spices bit is a result of someone doing some stupid racist thing

I was very proud of them for coming up with this bit,

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The kids tonight came up with a bit about giving your landlord, instead of money, 20 poops for the rent.

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.