Pinned toot
timmy

If anyone from Jorts is being a dickhead in your mentions/DMs, it’s always OK to DM me about it. I can’t do much, but I will do something.

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Pinned toot
timmy

Hey if anyone wants a guide to making a podcast, mine is now available as a webpage thanks to my pal and co-host @BestGirlGrace

internetpro.me/podguide/

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Pinned toot
timmy

Episode 2 of Warehouse 69 up now. You should be able to find us on everything but apple podcasts now

anchor.fm/warehouse69

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timmy

It's been 17 minutes since you emailed me about this, the thirst is unbelievable

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timmy boosted
Average Broad

i remember as a kid hearing the line 'are we not men!? no we're devo' and being like 'hmmm these coned fellows seem to understand'

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timmy

I hit unsubscribe on academia dot edu's mailing list because I only used it once to read a course syllabus but instead of turning off the emails, they just changed tact. Now they are sending me links to 37 books on religious studies if I sign up for premium instead of claiming people are writing papers about me

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timmy

Why is Bernie texting me photos of himself cosplaying as the Bill from Schoolhouse Rock?

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timmy

Watching the end of Star Wars Ep III: wow that little green guy is going sicko mode

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timmy boosted
slice of forethought

always saying "our girlfriend is marrying us" for maximum scandalosity

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timmy boosted
slice of forethought

patricia (the pa stands for pastor)

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timmy boosted
Inevitable Hater

@Timmy Not only is this true, but it worked

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timmy

Can’t believe @galaxybrain was a paid bot pushing this whole time

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timmy boosted
Vx. Princess Grace :qvp:

I'm taking the twocharist. it's even more Jesusy

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timmy boosted
Vx. Princess Grace :qvp:

that's cute. I'm taking the mewcharist. you can only get it by pushing that truck or whatever

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timmy boosted
The Uncancelable Hulk

@Timmy Customs saw unicycle parts and said "Nope back to Italy!"

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timmy

:oh_no: :oh_no_bubble: That’s not the direction that’s supposed to be going

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timmy

Bundy Family 

Cliven Bundy is an unabashed racist. Ammon probably isn’t much better but somehow managed to say "you must have a problem in your mind if you think that somehow the Black Lives Matter is more dangerous than the police" and "there needs to be a defunding of government in general, and especially the police forces because they’re the ones who are actually going to seek and destroy us."

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timmy boosted
The Uncancelable Hulk

Timelord is short for Timeline Landlord, Dr. Who is a class traitor, send toot.

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timmy

cliven Bundy’s court case, king shit 

“On March 10, 2016, Bundy also filed a lawsuit against Judge Gloria Navarro, Senator Harry Reid, Reid's son Rory, and President Barack Obama, alleging a number of conspiracy theories and describing the judge as a "Latino activist."[53][54] A day later, Bundy's lawyer attempted to serve the judge with the lawsuit during a detention hearing, demanding that the judge recuse herself from the proceedings because she was now involved in a legal conflict with Bundy.”

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timmy

I thought it didn’t make sense for Gosar and MTG to call for defunding the FBI, but I’ve come around on that one. If Cliven, Ammon, and Paul Bundy are all walking free today, clearly my idea of what the FBI is supposed to be about was wrong and theirs is probably more correct

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timmy boosted
garfield

cw food 

every tofu brand is called "biootifool 🌱" and every chicken substitute brand is called "Uncle Fuck's Truck Shop"

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timmy boosted
yo-yo gag
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timmy

You can’t even see that his shirt says post boy on it

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