it's my 69th birthday today. Please give me boosts

@Timmy @DeltaFlood you want to see me saying something awful? pick any one of my posts at random

hey I know I joke about her being utterly reprehensible because of her terrible terrible posts and all but @melissasage is good

I really ought to know better at this point, since it's happened to me like a half dozen times but I will never

If you do have a shoelace wrap around your pedal axle, check if the pedal is still tight asap. The lace will try to loosen it and if you don't catch it you can strip your crank, which is a bit expensive.

Learn from me, don't forget to tuck your shoelaces before you ride a fixed gear (or unicycle). I'm pretty glad it snapped, it's worse otherwise

I tried to put the mail away by putting it in the fridge. I had to grab a seltzer to cover it up

Yeah I'm riding around listening to Low Roar, what about it?

Look I'm just saying I think it'd be pretty cool if Noman Reedus had a cool bike in Death Stranding

Flicking water off my hands after washing them, I've accidentally hit my right middle finger on the faucet.... Twice in a row.

You are cordially invited to

==> Princess Grace's Birthday Extravaganza <==

I'll be streaming movies and TV shows I like all day, because I have a big stack of DVDs and can't leave the house. Drop in if you like!

shilling for myself 

do you want to get media off ur switch easier? do you like having to make a twitter developer account which is a dipshit involved process just to run a stupid script because that's apparently what you're forced to do? then oh boy do i have the thing for u

just made this, it automatically downloads media posted to a twitter account, and optionally deletes the tweets immediately after downloading

i use this with a dummy account i made for my switch to post screenshots to

I forgot I had this aftershave. It's so good, I love the scent and it's very nice to my skin.

Selfie, ec, dog 

haha someone told me "you're thick as fuck. And your dog thick as fuck too" and I am literally crying from laughing so hard

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.