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if god didn't want me to post so much why do I have ten fingers and one keyboard

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I'm like a vampire in that if you invite me into your house you're a fucking idiot

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I'd NEVER go to the Grand Canyon, what if I said something stupid and it echoed all across America? No, I'll stay here online where that's impossible

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just because i don't reply to your post doesn't mean i don't disagree with you

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do the verge writers know that apple isn't going to have sex with them

More leisure time for artists evervwhere,
A just machine to make big decisions
Programmed by fellows with compassion and vision.
We'll be clean when their work is done
We'll be eternally free, yes, and eternally young
What a beautiful world this will be
What a glorious time to be free

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Me, a bird, to my friend, who is also a bird: that guy only has one stone. He couldn't possibly hit both of us

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unfollowing myself. ive had enough of my nonsense

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due to the writers' strike, I will no longer be funny (still posting tho)

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the iconic duo Goofus and Gallant. Gallant is not to be understood as a real person, but a personification of an evolving moral ideal, which might manifest in very different ways depending on circumstances. Goofus, however, is an actual guy, and I'm still waiting for him to return the comic books I lent him

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I saw this guy in a show and said "oh hey, who is that cool, handsome guy" and it turns out his name is

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our new Moon Phase AI is a LLM trained on 38 years worth of moon phase data. it uses 25kWh of electricity per post & is correct 32% of the time. also we have gotten it to mostly stop being overtly racist

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who to follow on bsky??? I am @hella.rip

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i know eating chapstick is harmful. i know it can't improve my milk yields,

chaka khan when the berlin wall fell

no i will not send you "feet pics of my tits"

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@Z I used to go there to check out the "Buttered Beauties" category, but "Mexican Street Corn" is just f-ing racist and SWERFy, so until/unless they stop platforming that shit, I'm only patronizing the Maize Mamas and Peaches & Creaming sites. I don't wanna come across as a paid shill, but they're both creator-owned, too, so it's not the usual husk'n suck garbage.

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.