69 counts of wire fraud (nice) @Zero_Democracy@jorts.horse

boy are you a blockchain transaction because i am extremely uninterested in an explanation for your behavior

buying a crossbow from amazon dot com for jeff bezos related reasons

who likes,,, content

all i wanna do is 💥 💥 💥 💥 and ✔️

Anyone who talks about "biotruths" gets the airlock.

telling the traffic court judge that i cant be compelled to testify against my polycule

Half an hour and I'll be free of the mortifying ordeal of being visible.

Seems like a good time to become a California separatist but in the "fight the PNY Nazis" sense instead of the "tech shitheads who don't want to pay taxes and want their own senators" sense.

if the cops write you a ticket for 69 or 420 dollars and you say nice they have to let you go #knowyourrights #constitution #america

Beyond that it's just Shitbird Christmas, isn't it?

Everyone knows it's a bit, it's funny, it's not anxiety-inducing or anything. I feel like that's where online April fool's stuff should have started and ended.

The only good online April fool's bit is when webcomic artists do versions of their comics that are like a 15 year-old Newgrounds weeb drew them.

Up there with goth skunk.

I hate that I recognize the power armor ancap wolf so much. That is an actual guy and he is what you'd expect.

It should be legal to mug anyone wearing a Louis Vuitton mask.

I feel like Raiden in the bullshit VR simulation that just hurls nonsense at you until you turn into Solid Snake.

Taking the free time I've found myself with to read up on all that theory* that everyone keeps saying I have to read.
*rewatching Person of Interest

Feeling my telomeres shorten reading this. https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1245042229678411776

wow i cant believe rupaul died of undiagnosed ligma on today of all days

I say this as a compliment: I just said "oh wow, that's so bleak" out loud at this episode of Better Call Saul.

I described someone's ex buying them a Something Awful account as "like those guys who buy their girlfriends AR-15s."

Legalize polygamy but so polycules can't be compelled to testify against each other during sedition trials.

Just realized we're going to have to deal with a lot of media about quirky, financially-secure people with nice apartments "surviving" social distancing.

Probably not a coincidence that all our movies about our forever wars have extreme divorce dad energy at this point.