Pinned toot

boy are you a blockchain transaction because i am extremely uninterested in an explanation for your behavior

Pinned toot

buying a crossbow from amazon dot com for jeff bezos related reasons

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Pinned toot

telling the traffic court judge that i cant be compelled to testify against my polycule

Half an hour and I'll be free of the mortifying ordeal of being visible.

USpol 

if the cops write you a ticket for 69 or 420 dollars and you say nice they have to let you go

Everyone knows it's a bit, it's funny, it's not anxiety-inducing or anything. I feel like that's where online April fool's stuff should have started and ended.

The only good online April fool's bit is when webcomic artists do versions of their comics that are like a 15 year-old Newgrounds weeb drew them.

I hate that I recognize the power armor ancap wolf so much. That is an actual guy and he is what you'd expect.

It should be legal to mug anyone wearing a Louis Vuitton mask.

I feel like Raiden in the bullshit VR simulation that just hurls nonsense at you until you turn into Solid Snake.

Taking the free time I've found myself with to read up on all that theory* that everyone keeps saying I have to read.
*rewatching Person of Interest

wow i cant believe rupaul died of undiagnosed ligma on today of all days

I say this as a compliment: I just said "oh wow, that's so bleak" out loud at this episode of Better Call Saul.

I described someone's ex buying them a Something Awful account as "like those guys who buy their girlfriends AR-15s."

Legalize polygamy but so polycules can't be compelled to testify against each other during sedition trials.

coronavirus 

Probably not a coincidence that all our movies about our forever wars have extreme divorce dad energy at this point.

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.