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if anyone needs me I'll be in the π™‹π™€π™¨π™©π™žπ™£π™œ π™Žπ™₯π™π™šπ™§π™š

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Pinned toot

When there was one set of footprints in the sand...that was when i carried you

Pinned toot

TFW you've seized the means of production and aren't sure what comes next

East Germany really fucked up building a monolithic spy apparatus to watch everyone when they could've just had a cute little radio called 'Komrade' that cost 5 marks, placed your grocery orders and also relayed everything said in your home to party HQ

This is a test of the jorts emergency preparedness alarm 🚨

help the 5g made my grandma too strong, she ran downstairs at her apartment home and started flipping over the bingo tables and ripping up the other ladies macrame

"Loaded Potato Sphere? Extreme Mac n Cheese Bombz? None of these words are in the Bible!" I snarl at my server, slowly & deliberately tearing the TGI Friday's Endless Appetizers menu in half.

Her eyes turn black and her mouth stretches wide as a shrill, unearthly ululation fills the dining room

#gaming #overwatch #pog 

I'm mourning the last season of OWL by playing overwatch

this mercy was fucking up our entire team bc dps refused to target her, so I went Winton and chased her around the map with singleminded zeal- it worked and we won

"Loaded Potato Sphere? Extreme Mac n Cheese Bombz? None of these words are in the Bible!" I snarl at my server, slowly & deliberately tearing the TGI Friday's Endless Appetizers menu in half.

Her eyes turn black and her mouth stretches wide as a shrill, unearthly ululation fills the dining room

Everything I know about England (a land of violent Hobbits endlessly killing each other over the villages annual Best Kept Garden contest) is thanks to watching 23 seasons of 'Midsomer Murders'

@HeavenlyPossum All innovation and progress are the result of cooperative labor and collective intellect. "Capital" is just a name for the socially constructed right to allocate the fruits of cooperative labor.

Here is info on how to order more C19 home test kits, including a link to FDA-extended expiration dates.
special.usps.com/testkits

the bad news:
Elon Musk plays overwatch and is a Torb main

the good news:
nonzero chance I've killed him and teabagged his corpse at some point in the last 3 years

"I'm popping off!" I holler, carefully placing my bowl of oatmeal on the coffee table and adjusting a crocheted Afghan to cover my pale calves

i reckon there are people who left mastodon because bsky is the true twitter successor and people who return to mastodon because bsky is the true twitter successor

Friends it's and I'm dropping my top 10 contemporary bands
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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.