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i just made this symbol on my phone keyboard and i don't even know how ‽

the weezer/waka flokka flame mashup in this mix has been living rent free in my head for eight years

raining cats and dogs up here

fortunately for the cats, they reach a safe terminal velocity before hitting the ground

let's not talk about the dogs

can you hear that? it's the sound of millions and millions of billy joe armstrong's alarm clock jokes being drafted.

i would say this has been the most forgettable september to remember that i can remember but i might have forgotten the others

if you really cared about public health you'd fine me 30 quid for eating the deep fried pizza

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i ate/puked a deep fried pizza in your city and this is how you repay me


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fuming. my 1993 nissan sunny is apparently not low emission zone compliant for glasgow so i'm out another 30 quid.

you know it's a good northern town when you have a slag bank

there's a place in london called cockfosters

just a fundamentally unserious country

i don't need drugs, i'm high on crimes and misdemeanours

pablo and paolo extrapolated into 24 other names

like i'm dragging the excel column and calling my son pazlo

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.