[BLACK AND WHITE FOOTAGE. MAN IN THICK-RIMMED GLASSES WEARING SUIT AND TIE, SPEAKING IN MID-ATLANTIC ACCENT]
Good morning. You've probably overheard people talking about "kinky sex". This is where a "penis" enters a [VISIBLE FEAR AND DISGUST] "vagina". As a patriotic American, you're probably as confused as I am. But I'm speaking to you today because scientific breakthroughs have confirmed that this act is vital for the future of our great nation. Now, let's learn how to "get your freak on"!
lol good news, drake
as a wee child, unable to sleep and ruminating on the realization of my own mortality in the deep watches of the night, I would often sneak out to the living room and put on the disney omnibus film "fun and fancy free"
the low-stakes antics provided an imperfect distraction, so now I have a permanent association between thoughts of my eventual demise and this motherfucker
nah nah nah kublai, my man, you really wanna have to get the county inspector out here for a dome? keep it simple, hell you could get away with a hole in the ground. and cut that "stately" shit, no one's gonna be able to relax. it needs to be welcoming, you should feel like you're falling into it. can't go wrong with a gaping pleasure hole
I'm not a drowning man
I'm not a burning building
Unstoppable shitposting engine.