Pinned toot

HELLO it is time to HIT ON ME because I’m need Validation

It is 4:23am, I watched My Cousin Vinny and we just finished the first episode of the Sopranos (which I have never seen). I LIKE MY COUSIN VINNY A LOT

We got halfway thru Repo and switched to My Cousin Vinny which is... much better

Forcing Dom n Terra to watch Repo the genetic opera, aka the worst movie ever made

selfie ec Show more

thanks to @peculiar_perryble or whatever the hell instance is the current one, i'm back on my flight rising bullshit

Once when I worked at Uniqlo, someone came up and asked me, "What does Uniqlo mean?" I was like, "What do you mean?" And he said, "Well, 'uni' means 'one,' and 'culo' is Spanish for 'ass,' so does Uniqlo mean 'one ass'?"

Wanna know all the vehicles at our house right now? Mine (Honda fit), a box truck, a sprinter van, a 90s Miata, an RX7, and an MR2. She also has a Samurai and a truck at her moms. WE DONT NEED ANY MORE FUCKING CARS

So my girlfriend got a substantial check today and I have had to yell the words “don’t buy another fucking car” more than once

Mastodon Makes Its Users Feel Happy. Here’s Why That’s A Bad Thing

it’s 9am on a tuesday, prime posting hours one would think. several users have told me to suck their “lady dicks” a cw that said drama, meta on which you have to click to reveal the whole post- it says pee pee poo poo. not sure what that means. what is binch? everyone is telling me i’m cancelled. this website is crumbling. what the fuck is crinchie.

God I wished Kissenger would die right this second.

as always, me, I am the Bitchphomet and I See All

Also im a delight.

sorta political but not meta discourse, sorry Show more

@Gargron Eugen, Eugen!!!! Inquiring minds demand to know!!!!

What is your favorite lizard

The only way to defeat crumbling is by remoistening so I think *checks notes* yah guys we just gotta get super hornt today.

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.