Hi, it's me, Breakfastgolem. I moved over from my .social account because I wanted to be even better over here on Jorts. I've been on Mostodan for over four years, and I am now eternal. I'm a white dude (not really a man, just a guy-ish kind of person), I'm Old, I make good posts. Everyone loves me. Follow me for good times (unless you're a TERF/SWERF/Nazi/conservative/republican/capitalist/garbage person).
Update: an official proclamation. I apologize for calling you a "chucklefuck." I love you.
Listen up, chucklefucks: this is 100% real. I'm the Mastodon Prez, and what I say, goes. Got it? Now let's go to a Sizzler and get fucked up.
pbbsssrtttt not my president. Healyn 2028!
@breakfastgolem Actually it was masterbatadon
It does matter because it shows he doesn't know how to spell mastodon OR masturbate
@breakfastgolem some fellas like a shower beer, but I’m more of a shower gurt man
@breakfastgolem an absolutely perfect and thorough play through
I decided to play Microsoft Flight Simulator.
I downloaded 158GB of game data.
I sat through tutorials and learned how to trim my plane in flight, the differences between VFR and IFR, how to soar majestically through a photo-realistic virtual world.
I loaded up my first free flight, selecting a Cessna parked on the tarmac of an airport in my city.
I took off. I was careful, controlled, calm. I was free.
I flew over my own home and crashed in to it.
I exited and uninstalled the game.
Many people are saying things about me:
"im going to throw you into the sea" - Jacie
"cram it, square!" - Louisa
"I don't know why we put up with him" - ecsaln
Header by @starwall
Alt: @breakfastgolem
Music: @SmoteReverser@linernotes.club
see you nutmeats in hell