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🎶 if you like piña coladas...🎶
*nodding vigorously* Yeah! Fuck yes!

🎶...and getting caught in the rain🎶
What the fuck? Fuck this. I'm out.

If you make a movie that's very bad but also completely inscrutable, it will get an RT critic score of no less than 70% because critics are terrified of someone accusing them of not getting it.

One time a post went so viral that the guy who made it had to go outside and jack off in Sam Diego

The Last of Us but its Ratatouilles instead of fungus

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The doctors say it's *coughs blood into white handkerchief* woke mind virus

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I would never name my child something that could get him ridiculed by his peers. Kids are mean. You can’t name a boy something like ‘Snelly’

-Doctor Forcekin

This post brought to you by my gut bacteria (me)

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Taking a drive with the wife and kids this weekend to see Richard Gere's capybara farm

galaxy brain (bacteria) 

What if human consciousness is actually the hive mind of our gut bacteria rather than a singular thing that lives in our brain

The sequel to a Shrek spin-off was nominated for an Oscar. I took my nieces to see that movie and it was trash lol

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Rutgers University is short for Fuddrutgers University

Stupid sexy green M&M being the one real example of horseshoe theory

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fun history fact: before his conversion to Christianity he was known as Saul Blart Mall Cop

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.