Pinned toot

I can't reply right now, seeing as I've been canceled. Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as I'm no longer owned. *BEEEP*

Vaping is not a crime (it IS however a civil offence) πŸ‘©β€βš–οΈ

Not to throw the wildest hot take you've ever heard out onto the fediverse, but Welcome To The Black Parade is an emo version of Bohemian Rhapsody

labor politics Show more

Heeellooo iiit's myyy biiirthdaaayyy caaan iii geet sooomeee booosts

"Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today I’ll teach you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10"

Train communism
+ mystic symbolism
+ autofellating snakes

the fediverse seems to be having a collectively bad mental health day. here is a spell to help

Excuse me for interrupting your scrolling but would you please appreciate this pudgy litte pygmy hippo baby for a moment? Thank you.

Tho rabbi Bezalel was always careful to remove the Shem on Fridays, so that the golem could rest on the sabbath. There are different versions as to why the rabbi eventually deactivated the golem, but the legend maintains that the golem’s form still remains in the attic of the old synagogue in Prague, waiting to be reactivated whenever the Jewish people may need him (see pic of said synagogue below)

He’s best known today for an apocryphal 19th century legend that grew out of his reputation for wisdom, divine knowledge, & fierce love & protectiveness of his community. According to the legend, he built the golem out of clay from the vlatava river, placed the Shem (any of the names of god) on a piece of paper into its mouth & it came to life, like if frosty the snowman was also The Thing from the fantastic 4. The maharal named him Joseph (called yoselle) and charged him w defending his people

It’s #wizardwednesday! Today let’s consider 16th century Rabbi Judah Loew Ben Bezalel, the maharal of Prague, and the story of his golem. He was a hugely influential leader, worked to remove the stigma of illegitimacy for children, & was an extremely important & prolific Talmudic scholar, writing books with names like β€˜young lion commenting on the torah’ (young lion would be a great MC name) and books that presented Kabbalah concepts in terms that the average educated person could grasp. BUT 1/

At some point during my drunken stupor last night I saved this picture. It’s my new favourite thing.

Kirby has his own version of the Hero's Journey, unique to him, in which the same events repeat but he learns nothing

1. Kirby has a picnic, or perhaps is napping

2. an unknowable and ancient eldritch evil makes Kirby drop his sandwich, or disturbs his sleep

3. Kirby single-mindedly destroys the evil, oftentimes making cute friends along the way

4. victorious, Kirby returns to his leisure

lifehack: if you feel and look like shit, you can simply put on some bright red lipstick to instead feel and look like shit, but also a clown

this is the mood board for my dnd character, her name is mog and she rides a giant tortoise

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.