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Johny Johny

yes papa

summoning the ancients

no papa

telling lies

no papa

what's that behind you

H̵̡̡̥̥̰̣̝̱͉̳̻͇̱̀ͅẢ̶̡̝̫̺̮̟̖̥̣̻̭͔͔̈́̍͊͑̿͛̈́̈́̿͛͘͘ ̵̲̮͖̟̩̰̲̝̹̹̗̿͐̎̉̇͗͋̎̋̒̀́̈́͜H̴̪̟͔̟̉́̒͌̎̅͛̌̀̕̚Ǎ̴̖̠͂̒̀̅͊̌͋̈́͐͝ ̷̨̘̬̠̥̺͕̂̇͒̚͝͝H̷̦̞̠̮͊̓́̽̀Ą̴̢̱͖̖͖̲͇̮̪͋͆̓

Pinned toot
Pinned toot

*to the tune of Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangsta by the Getto Boys*

damn it feels good to be a gamer

*everyone starts yelling at me*

Tinder but for finding a Korean friend to follow you around the grocery store making sure you don't start writing Cooking Checks that your white ass can't cash

If I can't figure this out on my own I'm pretty sure they'll make a lovely fish stock so I'm not COMPLETELY boned here but I probably should have played it safe and stayed in the "inexplicable fruit" section

I impulse bought some whole dried croaker from the Asian market and whatayaknow, there are no recipes in english. Why do I do this

something i just did reminded her of the time (i have no memory of this) when she came to bed at like 3AM and was trying to go to sleep but i wouldn't stop threatening her with something called "tibetan kick-fighting" and when she finally told me to shut the fuck up i replied "STAY BACK OR I'LL BUST YOUR MILK" and now i'm laughing so hard it hurts

Just found out about “breasts”. Keep it up!

I haven't thought about this dude for YEARS but oh my god I must have a hundred stories just about the shit he pulled between 2009 and 2011

Screenshot, extremely cursed story from my old job, poop, gun mention

Anyway I'm either gonna be homeless or have tomato soup soon hell yeah

Sorry in advance if I burn the whole shitty complex down because I apparently have zero executive function and the short term memory of a goldfish today

I keep forgetting that I have slow-roasted tomatoes going in the oven and walking around trying to figure out why my house smells good

Here I sid
Broken harded
Came and shid
And also farded

I did NOT jerk off a donkey. That was just a JOKE. I am a NORMAL HUMAN MAN

that Y'lan Noel chap is pretty easy to stare at for an hour & a half though

Whew lads these Purge movies are just getting worse and worse ain't they

the great thing about committing crimes in front of babies is that if you tell them "forget you ever saw this" they actually will

SCALDING HOT MOVIE TAKE "Mom and Dad" belongs firmly to the zombie genre don't @ me

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.