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here's a picture I made for reply guys, free for distribution to my masto buds

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Johny Johny

yes papa

summoning the ancients

no papa

telling lies

no papa

what's that behind you

H̵̡̡̥̥̰̣̝̱͉̳̻͇̱̀ͅẢ̶̡̝̫̺̮̟̖̥̣̻̭͔͔̈́̍͊͑̿͛̈́̈́̿͛͘͘ ̵̲̮͖̟̩̰̲̝̹̹̗̿͐̎̉̇͗͋̎̋̒̀́̈́͜H̴̪̟͔̟̉́̒͌̎̅͛̌̀̕̚Ǎ̴̖̠͂̒̀̅͊̌͋̈́͐͝ ̷̨̘̬̠̥̺͕̂̇͒̚͝͝H̷̦̞̠̮͊̓́̽̀Ą̴̢̱͖̖͖̲͇̮̪͋͆̓

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*to the tune of Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangsta by the Getto Boys*

damn it feels good to be a gamer

*everyone starts yelling at me*

Just minding my own business doing dumb tweets about random celebrities on the other site and it occurred to me that it's probably really good that I don't do my old job anymore so I don't have to worry about just like... running into these guys at a bar. And subsequently having to explain my terrible posts.

truth coming out of her well to findomme ben garrison

Remaining serenely uncancellable because I never post anything of any remote substance or importance. All my chakras align as I sit in the lotus position and tap “post” on yet another forgettable toot about turds. You see it as you scroll down your timeline, buried right there between a really funny post, and a completely serious and intelligent political take. It doesn’t register as your eyes slide past it. Our unspoken agreement: I keep posting nonsense, you keep ignoring it.

Mitsouko has a powerful "wet moss & sadness" vibe though, highly recommend

Guerlains are universally bad on my skin chemistry except for that one, they all turn into rancid vanilla diaper somehow

The only good Guerlain perfume is Mitsouko because it makes me smell like a lady in a Type O Negative song

Not gonna do any politics toots now or ever, just gonna talk about how good Frostpunk is. That's the dubsteppenwolf promise

Hello it's me, the last person on earth to play Frostpunk. Frostpunk... is good

CrossFit comes off like a cult to me. Is it just me? Am I the weird one here

Doing that fun thing where I can't remember if I took pain medicine or not

another hard day at work at the bottom museum, im the exhibits

Absolutely howling at all the one stars that open with "I loved Get Out BUT,"

Real chronic pain + summer cold + period + insomnia hours, time to read a bunch of nerd complaints from people who never learned subtext

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.