Dracula Sex Tape @dubsteppenwolf@jorts.horse

antifa dumped a a bowl of lucky charms on my head in what i believe was an attempt to place a "leprechaun's curse" on me

🎶 16 tons and what do you get, a lot of dirt or whatever you are mining i guess 🎵

*Obama voice* Now let me be clear: I don't like house centipedes. They scare the shit out of me. Uhhh.... They give me the heebie jeebies. However.

starting a mastodon instance for all my Gay Ass Bitches is the name "GAB" taken

“gender is actually a perfectly symmetrical system of oppression” says my labrador retriever as i begin hurriedly calculating the cost of undoing the talking dog surgery

punching nazis is wrong because its a temporary solution to a problem, the correct course of action is to seal em in a syrup barrel and hurtle it over niagra falls

wheeling a 55 gal drum of fermented piss around in a wagon on the off chance I need to defend myself against an armed assailant

the laws of man may say barefoot is legal, but the laws of god never will

be crime
do gays

Found this far too funny

hey y'all -- jorts.horse is now open for signups -- i have to approve them, but you do not need an invite code anymore

yes, i'm aware that the landing page is horribly broken -- it's still functional! and the rest of the site works perfectly fine

no, i don't know how to fix the landing page

appreciation post