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the internet isn't damaging my brain (five minutes later, sewing in a sleeve) Sleve McDichael lmao

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please do not waste my time reporting my users for "lacking general quality", it only makes their posts worse

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*Yeonmi Park voice* in north korea Kim Jong Un randomly sounds alarms on all our phones. we live in constant terror of briefly hearing a shrill noise

help the 5g made my grandma too strong, she ran downstairs at her apartment home and started flipping over the bingo tables and ripping up the other ladies macrame

happy october, the traditional time when we gather round the jorts pumpkin patch and forget to renew the domain

[i add a filter to my fancy spambot so that it won't say slurs or political slogans while trying to sell you some new kind of fake life insurance]

conservatives: they made the robots woke. this is stalinism against white christians.

I was an eBay user for a while but I had such a bad experience (a seller sent me a thing that was misleadingly described) and I discovered that I had no recourse whatsoever, the only way to even get eBay’s attention was to start talking about piss and shit in the chat so I would like to thank Jorts Dot Horse for the life skills that I have learned here.

Actually this is my tenth rodeo I just refuse to learn things

(This article is a few years old now)

Tesnim Sayar is a Muslim punk. She wears both the headscarf and a mohawk and dreams of living of her own design. And like other supporters of the Muslim punk movement Taqwacore, she sees no contradiction between punk and Islam

“I’m tired of people’s generalizations and stereotypes about Muslim girls. Therefore, I am punk, ‘says 21-year design student Tesnim Sayar, who calls herself a Muslim goth-punk.”

muslimgirl.com/says-cant-punk-

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If you donate stuff to goodwill you should be allowed to steal a few things from them too

massive uptick in historical sewing groups lately of someone posting a screenshot from an anime, asking what a particular garment is called or what era it is from, and then getting super mad when the answer is "that's not real they made it up for a cartoon"

Twitter now is like Deadspin after all the writers left & started their own site

if i were on one of then planes it wouldnt have gone down like that. it would have gone down mostly like that but phone calls to loved ones would have audio in the background going "uh oh! uh oh! uh oh! uh oh!"

Many (not all) liberals are built for a world where you stand up, and you make a big speech so snarky, the other person is frozen in terror, and then when you end that speech with "have you no decency, sir?" everyone claps and the bad guys melt into dust.

We obviously do not live in that world, and I don't think it's a very good idea to encourage them in this fantasy. It's definitely not gonna stop fascism or the era of global boiling. Taunting them for this schtick is a net social good here.

you hear a voice whispering to you from the black heart of the forest. in a voice like nails scraping across tree bark it says MODS ARE ASLEEP. POST.

post what, you wonder. maybe if you walk into the woods it will tell you.

What’s the minimum age and beard length I need before I can start referring to myself in the third person as “The Grundler” or “Big Mr. Piss” or something

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.