Dracula Sex Tape @dubsteppenwolf@jorts.horse
Mod
I'm a real piece of shit but I can put a straw in a Capri Sun one-handed so it pretty much evens out. Nightcrew mod. Jorts Authority. She/they.
Joined Oct 2018
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Johny Johny
yes papa
summoning the ancients
no papa
telling lies
no papa
what's that behind you
H̵̡̡̥̥̰̣̝̱͉̳̻͇̱̀ͅẢ̶̡̝̫̺̮̟̖̥̣̻̭͔͔̈́̍͊͑̿͛̈́̈́̿͛͘͘ ̵̲̮͖̟̩̰̲̝̹̹̗̿͐̎̉̇͗͋̎̋̒̀́̈́͜H̴̪̟͔̟̉́̒͌̎̅͛̌̀̕̚Ǎ̴̖̠͂̒̀̅͊̌͋̈́͐͝ ̷̨̘̬̠̥̺͕̂̇͒̚͝͝H̷̦̞̠̮͊̓́̽̀Ą̴̢̱͖̖͖̲͇̮̪͋͆̓
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*to the tune of Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangsta by the Getto Boys*
damn it feels good to be a gamer
*everyone starts yelling at me*
please do not waste my time reporting my users for "lacking general quality", it only makes their posts worse
Dracula Sex Tape
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Last night, @killeveryhetero worked late into the night, with support from @Luxotek, to make sure we could continue to enjoy our shitposting. This is how it went down, I assume:
i literally cannot stop delivering packidge
hour 140 of death stranding lmao
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if anyone has been thinking of joining or coming back to JORTS DOT HORSE 
and didn't because it was so out of date, well, now's your chance. sign-ups are re-enabled, we're running latest masto, and (afaik) we've never been at the center of a fedi controversy
downsides: absentee badmin who never posts
upsides: damn thats a sexy jorts horse logo 
i might need to disable sign-ups again if we get inundated with weird bot accounts like last time, but for now they're open!
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bro did you just covet? did you just make unto thee a graven image bro?
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The problem with libertarianism is that eventually you run out of other people's piss
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filing the serial numbers off my clit
please wear sunscreen if you're going out there (avoid oil-based or "waterproof" sunscreens if you can)
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i think jorts.horse deserves a hand for literally never being the center of a fediverse controversy
lmao its still going... gonna have to turn off registration for a few days
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My unauthorized sequel to "The Silence of the Lambs" is scarier than the original in many ways. For example, it has a more frightening title, which is: "The Lambs Scream at You"
We're not even really sure that a person is doing it, it looks almost like a bot creating bots. Anyway whoever it is they dont seem to be actually *doing* anything
Deleted another batch of about 30 bot accounts... not sure what the point of this behavior is
this was more of a joke than a serious request but I have still spent entirely too much time thinking about which animal I would be and come up completely empty, which is probably a sign that I am like negative-percent furry
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Questionable Content is a webcomic i enjoy despite my issues with it, but one thing do hold against jeph jacques is how many fucking incredible instance urls he's hoarding away
been inside for weeks and I still cant get anyone to give me a fursona. this is bullshit
Mod
I'm a real piece of shit but I can put a straw in a Capri Sun one-handed so it pretty much evens out. Nightcrew mod. Jorts Authority. She/they.
Joined Oct 2018
