Harrison Fjord @dubsteppenwolf@jorts.horse

Johny Johny

yes papa

summoning the ancients

no papa

telling lies

no papa

what's that behind you

H̵̡̡̥̥̰̣̝̱͉̳̻͇̱̀ͅẢ̶̡̝̫̺̮̟̖̥̣̻̭͔͔̈́̍͊͑̿͛̈́̈́̿͛͘͘ ̵̲̮͖̟̩̰̲̝̹̹̗̿͐̎̉̇͗͋̎̋̒̀́̈́͜H̴̪̟͔̟̉́̒͌̎̅͛̌̀̕̚Ǎ̴̖̠͂̒̀̅͊̌͋̈́͐͝ ̷̨̘̬̠̥̺͕̂̇͒̚͝͝H̷̦̞̠̮͊̓́̽̀Ą̴̢̱͖̖͖̲͇̮̪͋͆̓

Me whenever anyone does anything

*to the tune of Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangsta by the Getto Boys*

damn it feels good to be a gamer

*everyone starts yelling at me*

Tinder but for finding a Korean friend to follow you around the grocery store making sure you don't start writing Cooking Checks that your white ass can't cash

If I can't figure this out on my own I'm pretty sure they'll make a lovely fish stock so I'm not COMPLETELY boned here but I probably should have played it safe and stayed in the "inexplicable fruit" section

I impulse bought some whole dried croaker from the Asian market and whatayaknow, there are no recipes in english. Why do I do this

I haven't thought about this dude for YEARS but oh my god I must have a hundred stories just about the shit he pulled between 2009 and 2011

Screenshot, extremely cursed story from my old job, poop, gun mention

Look at this fuckin behemoth

Anyway I'm either gonna be homeless or have tomato soup soon hell yeah

Sorry in advance if I burn the whole shitty complex down because I apparently have zero executive function and the short term memory of a goldfish today

I keep forgetting that I have slow-roasted tomatoes going in the oven and walking around trying to figure out why my house smells good

I did NOT jerk off a donkey. That was just a JOKE. I am a NORMAL HUMAN MAN

that Y'lan Noel chap is pretty easy to stare at for an hour & a half though

Whew lads these Purge movies are just getting worse and worse ain't they

SCALDING HOT MOVIE TAKE "Mom and Dad" belongs firmly to the zombie genre don't @ me