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I HAVE BEEN WAITING YEARS TO DO THIS
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Haven't posted one of these in a long time so here's me: the Bog Mother
Just minding my own business doing dumb tweets about random celebrities on the other site and it occurred to me that it's probably really good that I don't do my old job anymore so I don't have to worry about just like... running into these guys at a bar. And subsequently having to explain my terrible posts.
Remaining serenely uncancellable because I never post anything of any remote substance or importance. All my chakras align as I sit in the lotus position and tap “post” on yet another forgettable toot about turds. You see it as you scroll down your timeline, buried right there between a really funny post, and a completely serious and intelligent political take. It doesn’t register as your eyes slide past it. Our unspoken agreement: I keep posting nonsense, you keep ignoring it.
I'm a real piece of shit but I can put a straw in a Capri Sun one-handed so it pretty much evens out. Nightcrew mod. Jorts Authority. She/they.
Unstoppable shitposting engine.