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Lewd + slime Show more

To my sistren who say "kill all men," I respond,, simply bimboify them

My 3 year old just yelled "THATS JUST A GOD DAMN OLD BOOK" and I'm v pleased

I’m the hot lunch lady of mastodon, giving everyone I like a little extra slime and a wink

Y'all remember that time I told laser he was out here looking like somebody's damn cousin

Like sand thru the hourglass so flowed the roasts of bofa.lol

At the children's museum and there's a dude w serious face tattoos and a toddler named Nixon lmfao

Just put the fear of god into my first grader's principal. When I got in the car Personal Jesus was playing. I love synchronicity

I got my own blood plasma microneedled into my face this morning ama

*incredibly genius billionaire silicon valley guy wearing a galaxy gear on both wrists and swiping them across his face as they repeatedly fail to scan his retinas* i “hacked” my marriage by getting a handjob from a grad student at Lollapolooza

boost this toot and I'll give your dick a name

my sauces are too strong for you, adventurer

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.