Pinned toot

I'm going to start a queer developers' discord server, boosts ok! Planning to setup a irc-discord/matrix-discord for it bridge at some point as well.

Was a whole period between coming out and like winter 2018/19 i did not take a single selfie and avoided pictures, too

best part about being trans is being able to smile at the mirror again

*bursts into bank in full Bill Wurtz mode*

"Open the vault, stop having it be closed"

birdsite/youtube drama venting, sexual assault Show more

Stirring a cup of coffee is like shuffling a deck of cards except for beverages

this house is politically incorrect
We say

God damn America
workers of the world unite
all cops are bastards
be gay do crimes
socialism or barbarism
eat the rich
Nazi lives don't matter

if this offends you
:antifa: :_gayheart2: :comrade: :mrmarx: :trans_heart: :anarchism:

Gimli: There is nothing, Lady Galadriel. Nothing, unless it might be - unless it is permitted to ask, nay, to name a single strand of your hair, which surpasses the gold of the earth as the stars surpass the gems of the mine. I do not ask for such a gift. But you commanded me to name my desire

Galadriel: *gives him the lock of hair and turns to the final member of the fellowship* And what for you? Do you desire any gifts that i may give?

Eve: it's my birthday, can i get some booooooosts???!!!

There, behind the last door, was the source of the divine sound. The initiate was amazed at the sight. Never in his wildest dreams had he anticipated such a wonder. He lived the rest of his days at the monastery, elated to be guarding such a secret.

Can't tell you what it was though, you're not a monk.

Behind the wooden door is a large, worn iron door. The abbot produces another key, larger this time, and pulls the door open with some effort.

Behind, there was an even larger, golden door. The abbot produces a very large key which he places in a keyhole.

"Would you mind helping me with this? It's very heavy", he asks the new initiate.

After much effort, they open the door enough for them to step in.

The man is still extremely curious about that damn sound, so he does just that. He farmed his own food, he read all the books in the temple library, he meditated for days thinking about the meaning of life. After the year is up, he goes to the monastery and tells the abbot about his thoughts. "Interesting. I think you are ready to be a monk."

The abbot shows him around the monastery. Finally, he leads him to a cellar. He produces a small key with which he opens a wooden door.

The monks fix his car and send him on his way, but something about that sound keeps bugging him. In a couple months he decided to head back to the monastery and pleads with the abbot to let him know about the sound, he promises he'll tell no one, etc.

But the abbot won't budge. "Alright, so how do i become a monk then?" The abbot lets him know about a secluded temple in the forest. "You'll have to live in isolation at the temple for a year. After you come back, tell me the meaning of life."

So, a man was driving down a road way out in the wilderness, and his car breaks down near a monastery. There's no signal, so after panicking for a while he goes to the monastery and asks for help. The monks agree to let him in for the night, and feed him dinner.

As the man tried to fall asleep, he hears this most beautiful sound that keeps him up. The next morning, he asks the abbot what the sound was. "I can't tell you -- you're not a monk", he replies.

You ever look at your own boobs and think....
Cute tits homie

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lewd, politics Show more

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Unstoppable shitposting engine.