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nobody has to do anything and also what if we stopped

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oh no!!! help me help me!!! :-] help me im in trouble!!!!! =)
*u get off your horse and rush over to me*
haha you came you really came!!
*gives u a hug*
i love u =]

peemo boosted

i am sweating like a grilled cucumber; death and destruction follow me; i am rolling around under a hot iron, screaming with perverse delight

[in the club, speaking into a handheld tape recorder] these sounds are combining in a pleasant way.... i must remember this

they call me ricky biglung [SINKING THE 8 BALL IN THE WRONG POCKET] the way i breathe on these haters.........

peemo boosted

weed shitpost 

losing my shit at the thought of "stoner dracula". It's a normal halloween costume except you carry around a bong with red food coloring in it. and you say in a really annoying voice "I vant to take a hit!" feedback appreciated

peemo boosted

in the gaps
between scenes,
I am left offscreen
with no script
and no blocking
to stand on.

instead, I gather
the older theater,
the deeper conjure:

Make yourself big.
Make yourself small.

Place between you
some barrier, some
obstacle to approach.
Come bowing
and bear tribute.

Circle them
like a tiger.
Exeunt, pursued.

luckily my muscles are huge and my brain is rough and hard like fossilized dogshit

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sometimes i think about people who unfollowed me but mostly i just think about GETTING THIS BREAD (

@peemobil Bertha is a space engineer who goes rogue and breaks off from a questionable "research" mission to try and find her friend Slug (whom she suspects has been kidnapped by some big intergalactic alien alliance......). She teams up with an AI named Baby and a stinky dog, and they explore deep space looking their friend, meanwhile uncovering the shady space-doings of her (former) employer, the Earth Space Commission

on my secret island ,eating of the many succulent fruits

boring an access hole into my skull for easier popsicle/brain contact

grinding the tip of a red white and blue rocket ice-pop into my right temporal lobe until i can taste music

detectives: [showing me home security footage of myself plastering paper silhouette firing range targets onto all my rich neighbors' windows]

me: yeah i see what you mean. who is that guy

me: dozing off to the max, finally giving in. a glass of water and a toothbrush.. im home free. feel like i'll fall asleep instantly. all i have left to do is rinse.. i bend over, breathe in, touch my lips to the stream of cool water, and

my brain: would you like to hear a voice

open-backed headphones are really good at making me think that someone is knocking on my window

just wanna zip some ps2 memory cards into my backpack

touch enabled two finger pinch zoom and scroll interactive coca cola bottle cap

watching 1440P60FPS_GOPRO_HandleMount_Dull_Axe_Chopping_Down_RedPine[STABILIZED].mp4 prisoner's cinema style on the backs of my eyelids

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.