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i love my irl friends (3 [yes even YOU if you are still stalking me you creep fucker]) and online friends (one million)

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kris kringle and ready to christian pringle

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oh no!!! help me help me!!! :-] help me im in trouble!!!!! =)
*u get off your horse and rush over to me*
haha you came you really came!!
*gives u a hug*
i love u =]

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hi everyone i just wanted to get some recognition for the fact that i have a guitar and Two ukuleles in my apartment and my crush has been over a few times now and i haven't even TRIED to play her a song,, pretty impressive right?????

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someone once said, "pee pee poo poo I'm a widdle baby"

we'll never know who said it, but those are words i try to live by each and every day

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@Gargron Hm. Good point. Going back to Twitter now.

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Every time I see a #ff I wasn't included in my telekinesis gets a little bit more powerful but I lose an inch in height

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one time I turned a girl down because she suggested that we watch cinemasins at her house

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best part of this site is i can post stuff about being ok and that's just ok. it's the culture

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broke: i before e, except after c

woke: realising there are actually more words that don't obey this grammatical rule than words that do, rendering it useless

bespoke: adjusting for frequency of word usage, knowing that the words that obey the rule are used often enough that it's still convenient to use it as a rule of thumb

snoke: yo im the fuggin bad guy in star war

sriracha?? whats that..?

oh you mean gamer ketchup????

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maybe the loch ness monster doesnt want 2 be found.... maybe we should just respect its wishes

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doing nothing but with extreme focus and performative squinting at my screen

selfie Show more

haircut pics, eye contact

lemme get that Generic White Dude #5

got a haircut...... pics coming when i get home...... get ready babey

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i use my phone for everything but phone calls! makes you think!!

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you: do you purple my nurples, ma'am?
me: [aside] is the law of our side if I say aye?

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jorts.horse

Unstoppable shitposting engine.